Page 50 of Only Cold Depths
I stiffened in my seat.
Verona leaned forward, her blue gaze frank and assessing. “I canfeelyour fear, Kyrion. It wafts off you like the cold fog rises off these mountains each morning. You’re afraid you’re going to lose Vesper to Callus Holloway.”
Once again, I saw no reason to lie, even if the confession cracked something deep inside me. “Yes, I’m afraid I’m going to lose Vesper, and I’m bloodyterrifiedthat I’m not strong enough to protect her. Not just from Holloway and the bounty hunters but everyone else who might come after us.”
I scrubbed a hand through my hair, trying to put my frustration into words. “I have to be smart and strong and capable all the time. I can’t slip up or make a mistake. Not evenonce, not for one bloodysecond, because that could mean the difference between Vesper living and dying.”
I drew in a breath and let it out, along with the rest of my dark confession. “And even if I manage to protect Vesper, I could still end up killing her. Because if I die, then she dies too.”
Another laugh erupted out of Verona’s mouth, startling me. She waved her hand again. “Sorry! I’m sorry! But I just can’t help myself when people say such ridiculous things. You Imperium Regals really do have some odd ideas about truebonds, but I suppose that’s only natural, given all the dreck on your gossipcasts.” Her face softened. “As well as what happened to your parents.”
I stiffened in my seat again. Out of the corner of my eye, the vision of my mother reappeared, along with my teenage self yelling at her. “And how, exactly, is being worried about my own death and thus killing Vesper by proxy ridiculous?”
Verona shrugged. “It is patently ridiculous to worry about things that might never happen. Besides, not every truebond automatically ends in death.”
“What are you saying? That one person can actuallysurvivea truebond even if the other person dies and the connection is severed? How is that possible?”
“No one really knows,” Verona replied. “But one person dying in a truebond can have a variety of effects on the remaining partner.”
Her shoulders drooped, and sadness rippled off her and twinged my telempathy. A memory bubbled up in my mind. Information from a file Holloway had given me on Verona, back when he’d been trying to force a truebond between Asterin and me.
“You had a truebond with your first husband, Urston, Asterin’s father.”
“Yes, I did. Urston and I were childhood sweethearts, and we got married after we both graduated from universities here on Sygnustern. Falling in love, getting married, having a truebond, it was all a slow, easy, natural progression.”
A smile crept across Verona’s face, and her eyes brightened. For a moment, I got a glimpse of the beautiful young woman she had been—and just how much she had loved her first husband.
But just as quickly, her smile snuffed out, and her gaze darkened with weary grief. “But then Urston died.”
I remembered what Asterin had said about the mining accident that had claimed her father’s life. “But you survived. How?”
“I had a heartbroken teenage daughter to care for, myriad lawsuits to settle, and mountains of debt to dig myself out of, quite literally. I didn’t have time todie.” Verona’s voice sharpened with every word. Her hands balled into fists, and her body vibrated, as if she was bracing herself to face an old, familiar enemy.
Questions swirled through my mind, but I held my tongue. Talking about this was obviously difficult for the Erzton lady, so why was she baring her soul?
Verona sighed out a breath and loosened her fists. “Not everyone involved in a truebond will end up like your parents, Kyrion. Some people can survive the severing of a bond.” A sour note crept into her voice, and her nostrils flared with disgust. “Some people even thrive on it.”
How could someone thrive on losing such a deep connection to another person? I had never heard of such a thing, much less imagined it was possible. No, everything I had seen, especially with my parents, had led me to believe a severed truebond equaled a slow, miserable death for the remaining partner.
Verona’s tablet chimed, and she scooped up the device and got to her feet. “Duty calls. I must go help Aldrich and Leland prepare for the marriage mart tonight. You and Vesper are still welcome to attend as House Collier guests.”
I also got to my feet and bowed to her. “Of course, my lady. Thank you for breakfast . . . and your advice.”
Verona reached up and patted my cheek. The gentle motion reminded me so much of my mother it made my chest ache, and for the third time, I spotted that vision of Desdemona out of the corner of my eye. If only I could go back to that moment, I would have done so many things differently.
Verona dropped her hand, strode away, and disappeared into the garden, but her words kept echoing through my mind. With just one brief conversation, the Erzton lady had made me question everything I knew about truebonds.
Perhaps more important, she had also given me the tiniest ember of hope that I wouldn’t end up getting myself and Vesper killed.
Servantscametoclearaway the remains of the breakfast. Shouts rose in the distance, along with several distinctivethwacks. I followed the noise through the garden and over to a large training ring that butted up against the main castle.
Unlike the rest of the lush landscaping, not a topiary tree was in sight, and the ground was hard-packed dirt. Hoverpallets covered with towels, drinks, and other supplies sat off to the side, along with targets bristling with spears, daggers, and other sharp, pointed weapons. At the back of the ring, a permaglass wall jutted ten feet into the air, cordoning off this section of the estate from the dangerous drop below.
Siya paced back and forth along the edge of the training ring, watching two Hammers expertly batter each other with wooden staffs. The House Collier Hammers were the match of any Arrow I had ever trained with, except for Zane. As much as I hated to admit it, Zane Zimmer was an exceptional warrior—when he could control his own ego and end a fight without stopping to show off.
One woman knocked the other down, and the sparring match ended. The warrior who had landed flat on her back lifted her head and saw me. She let out a muttered curse, but I didn’t care if the Hammers realized I was cataloging their strengths and weaknesses. We might not be outright enemies, but we certainly weren’t friends.
One of the warriors nudged Siya, who looked in my direction.
