Page 71 of All The Way Under
Nolan doesn’t look at me as warmly as Brody does, though. As he looks at me, his gaze is sharp, without any trace of softness. He paces a step, rocking back on his heel, and proceeds to continue this cadence.
He picks up a stray half-full bottle of beer on the counter and takes a sip.
“He’s been through hell. You know that, I’m sure.” He pauses on a rock back on his heel. “But you don’t know all of it.”
I’m frozen to my spot, one hand steadying myself on the back of a kitchen table chair.
He goes on. “He’s seen things. The things he’s done? None of it goes away. Here you are, all shiny and sweet, hailing from a world that eats people like him alive.”
I narrow my eyes. “If you’re trying to scare me off, it won’t work. I know who he is, and he knows who I am. I may be from a different place, but I will always protect him. That’s what you do when you love someone.”
Nolan shakes his head and sets the bottle back on the granite. It makes a loud noise.
“I’m not trying to scare you. I just want to make sure you get it. He’s not some project. Brody isn’t a man you clean up and bring to brunch.”
My hand trembles a little, so I bring it up next to my other.
“There’s nothing to fix.” I blink slowly a couple of times, stunned to see this side of his twin, but also thankful he has someone who loves him so fiercely.
Nolan exhales loudly. “Thank God. He doesn’t need fixing. He needs someone who stays through the good and the bad.He needs someone who doesn’t change him into something he’s not.”
Finally, he looks up from the floor and meets my eyes. A softness comes.
“He told me he wants to marry you.”
There’s a pregnant silence as I take it in. Butterflies invade my stomach at the same time my heart rate picks up, throbbing against my neck.
“He did?” I ask.
“He didn’t say it like some romantic, idealistic bullshit, because that’s not him.” He runs a hand through his hair. “He said it like a tortured man who’s never wanted something he thought he didn’t deserve.”
I watch as he swallows hard, trying to control his emotions.
“So if you aren’t all in, or if this is just some phase, walk away now. I’ll take care of the aftermath. Again.”
“I know who Brody is. I know about the scars you can see and the ones he hides at all costs. I know about the car accident that changed him and the teammates he’s lost throughout the years. I know he flinches if you touch him when he’s not expecting it, and that he’s so inside his head that he acts like a grouch to try to push people away. I know his heart,” I say, breathing heavily, a tear rolling down my cheek. “And I will always care for it.”
Nolan stares at me, looking for doubt or cracks, but he doesn’t find any because they don’t exist. He goes to walk away, but turns to look at me before he disappears into the hallway.
“If you hurt him…” He starts, voice shaking.
I cut him off. “I would never hurt him.”
“You’ll answer to me,” he finishes.
“If I ever hurt him, I’ll deserve to answer to more than you, Nolan,” I reply. “I won’t.”
He nods, then walks away, leaving me alone.
I turn off the light with shaky hands, grab my phone, and head upstairs. The bedroom door is open, and I can see—no, I can hear—Brody sleeping on top of the bed. He’s on his stomach, face turned to the window, so the moonlight illuminates his face.
He said he wants to marry me.
Grimace lifts his head from his oversized bed near the bathroom entrance, then puts it back down when he sees it’s me.
So this is what it feels like to get the guy fully. In the real love kind of way, not the convenience kind of way that so many of my friends and family thrive on. My heart is still pounding with the knowledge that I’m loved for who I am.
Standing in the bright moonlight, I look out the bay window at the shining lake, and a peace washes over me.
