Page 79 of To Tempt a Scandalous Lord
The mattress sank next to her, and her body rolled toward him with the movement, his hands catching her arms to steady her. His thumbs stroked along her skin and she wanted to sink into the sensation.
“I’m sorry, Alicia.” Feather-light movements coasted across her brow and down to her ear, brushing aside strands of hair. “I was not trying to reject you. I just needed time to think and knew I couldn’t possibly do that with you around. And truthfully…” his swallow was audible, “I thought that perhaps you had not told me because you didn’t respect me enough to do so. I was…very hurt that my own wife thought she could not trust me.”
A sob stuttered in her throat. “You are the most honorable man I’ve ever known, and I’m so sorry I made you think otherwise. Being your wife has been the first taste of happiness I’ve felt in a very long time.”
He pressed a kiss to her temple, holding his mouth there against her skin. “I don’t see how I could make a woman as wonderful as you happy. You are so far above me in every way that matters. One day I fear you will glance at me and regret having had to marry me.”
“Niall,” she breathed, pulling back to meet his gaze. “You are not the sort of man a woman regrets.”
“But you’ve regretted marrying me.” His shoulders curled in a bit. “I’ve seen it in your gaze.”
Alicia drew herself up and gazed steadily at him. “The only thing I regret is that our marriage occurred in this forced manner. I’ve warred with my own feelings of guilt and insecurity. We’ve had to overcome so much, and just when we were coming to trust each other, Matthews intervened. But I know that if we’d been given time,” Alicia licked her lips, and forced the next words out in spite of her nerves, “I would have confessed that what I feel for you is so much more than respect or affectionate regard.”
Niall had turned into stone beside her, although she would have sworn she could hear the thundering of his heart.
After a prolonged moment, a ragged whisper slipped from his mouth. “Do you love me, Alicia? A-after everything?” He shook his head. “I am not deserving of your love.”
Alicia nodded. “I do love you and you are deserving. My opinion is the only one that matters in this.”
Niall smiled, but his expression turned serious. “I have sought the good opinion of many people. My father. Matthews. Powerful men in Parliament. Always trying to prove myself. But I realize now that your respect, your trust in my word, your belief in my honor is the only thing that truly matters.”
Reaching out, he cradled her jaw in his large hand. Niall’s steady gray eyes caressed her features while his thumb stroked softly over her cheek.
Alicia leaned into him without thought, unable and unwilling to deny herself the pleasure of his touch. Every caress, every kiss, every breath he shared with her had been tender. Reverent. Her heart raced like Flora’s swift-footed stallion to be the subject of such adoration.
“I love you.” His thumb dragged across her bottom lip. “I denied it for so long, twisted myself into knots to withstand the flurry of emotions that swirled about like a tempest whenever you were near. And now I don’t know why. For my political career? How foolish. Falling in love with you was effortless, and yet I made loving you so painful. I’m so sorry.”
Alicia didn’t know what to say. They had both made mistakes. Had both been unwilling to compromise. To trust. Perhaps their love would now mend the haphazardly sewn pieces of their marriage tapestry and turn it into a work of art.
Glancing down at the papers that had slipped to the floor, she sighed. “I’m so proud of you for writing this bill proposal. It probably won’t make it out of committee, but you will definitely give them something to talk about.”
A shadow of a smile touched his mouth. “The committeehaspassed it.”
She jerked back. “It did? How is that possible?”
“Well, my love, your husband can be quite ruthless when he wants something. And I was determined the bill would go to a vote.”
Her laugh echoed the delight filling her chest. “I would have loved to have sat in on the negotiations.”
“The negotiations are why I did not arrive sooner.” Niall looked down to where his fingers were threaded with hers. “I know the bill will not survive the first vote, but simply putting it to a vote was my objective. I want the assembly to have to debate the issue, to have to table their pet projects for a time and honestly discuss the welfare of our nation’s children. No longer will they be allowed to duck and hide from the very real problems terrorizing the youngest members of society.”
“And what of Matthews? What of his threats?”
“The viscount has not been seen in public since the Winters’s luncheon. The dukes did a superb job of exposing his past tactics and his reputation may never recover.” He squeezed her fingers. “He’ll always remain a threat because of his knowledge of your secret, but my hope is that if he were to ever reveal it, no one would believe him.”
She sighed. “I wish I didn’t have to write anonymously. I wish I could claim my words and ideas publicly, and perhaps in another life, women will be able to.”
“I wish you could too, love, for you are quite brilliant.” He kissed her blushing cheek. “If Matthews tries to make trouble in the future, we will face it together, as we should have the first time.”
Biting the inside of her cheek, Alicia willed her tears at bay.
While she’d been walking all over the Suffolk countryside, mourning the loss of her marriage, her husband has been making maneuvers to ensure her reputation was protected and an issue she was passionate about was finally taken up by Parliament. Any fear or doubts that still cluttered the recesses of her mind and heart were swept free with this revelation.
Alicia laid her trembling hand right over where his heart clamored riotously, leaned forward, and kissed him. The feel of his velvety lips against her own, his scent filling her lungs, left her head swimming not just with desire, but with awe.
It filled her with love for this wonderful, stubborn man.
When she pulled back, Niall appeared just as dazed as she felt. His gaze fell to her lips for a heartbeat before returning to meet hers.
