Page 5 of The Captain's Midwinter Bride
“She’s so different,” Phillip whispered, snapping Annalise from her thoughts. “She adored me when she was a young girl, and her sweet dimpled smile was sometimes all that got me through the worst stretches of my voyages. It took me by surprise when she no longer rushed to the docks to greet me when my ship arrived.”
Annalise pursed her lips as she debated what to say. In the end, she went with honesty. “Once she started to wear her hair up, she became quarrelsome and temperamental. More times than not, I have stared at her across the breakfast table and wondered what I had done for the Almighty to give me such a petulant child.”
Phillip stared at her, a deep V etched into his brow, before he barked out a laugh. And then another. Her confusion quickly morphed into amusement, and before she knew it, Annalise was laughing so hard, she had to hide her face in her napkin.
After a time, Phillip sighed a great breath and leaned back, a hint of a smile still touching his lips. “I feel guilty for complaining about her treatment of me when it’s you that bore the brunt of her adolescent grievances. I can only imagine what Oliver put you through.”
“Oliver was simply moody, especially if he was hungry.” Annalise pursed her lips. “Which was all the time.”
“I remember being ravenous as a boy.” He met her gaze. “Still, without your loving and firm hand, Beth and Oliver would not be the upstanding young people they now are.”
Annalise dipped her head. “It would be disingenuous to lie, but there were many nights—when the children refused to sleep, or they asked for another glass of water, or a bad dream woke them—that I cursed you. That I cursed myself for marrying a sailor who could disappear for months beyond end and return a conquering hero in the eyes of the very children who sometimes declared me a monster.”
Clenching his eyes shut, Phillip sighed. “Annalise, I am sorry.”
“For what?”
His gaze snapped to hers. Hesitating for a moment, he said, “For not insisting you hire a nurse or nanny to assist you. For leaving you with two young children to care for.”
“There was no money to hire help.”
Phillip frowned. “Of course there was.”
But there hadn’t been. His memory of that time must have faded under the hot sun.
Sighing deeply, she leaned back in her chair and stared at the festive evergreens Beth had hung over the window. “Nevertheless, apologies are not necessary. Your position with the Queen’s Navy kept us warm and dry, happy and fed. Your long months at sea ensured I could eventually acquire the services of a governess. I could also hire the best tutor for Oliver and clothe Beth in fine garments.”
She swallowed, debating whether she should divulge the entirety of her thoughts.
He is retired now, her mind whispered to her. No longer would her husband be in Bristol for days, or maybe weeks, before setting sail once again. His home, their home on Thirteenth Street, would now house him permanently. Didn’t that warrant some honesty?
“It’s true that there were many days I cursed you, possibly even hated you for leaving me alone with our children.” Annalise swallowed. “But in the end, I counted my blessings. You have always been kind, attentive, and hard-working. Those attributes do not warrant censure, and if they did, I would be more at fault than you could ever be.”
Phillip winged up a brow. “Because you dared to curse the absent father of your children?”
The sparkle in his eyes was the only thing that belied his amusement.
Despite that, Annalise sobered. “You were there when it mattered, Phillip. The children have so many memories of you, taking them for a ride in the park, playing chess with them in the parlor, and reading books in the nursery at bedtime. Even their tumultuous teenage years cannot erase those happy times.” She swallowed. “The fond memories I carry of my father have sustained me through the years, and the memories you made with Beth and Oliver will do the same for them.”
Silence reigned for a time, but it was not uncomfortable. Annalise was content to sip her tea, while Phillip stared out the window, his placid expression making it clear his thoughts were miles away.
The morning had dawned cold, with frost clinging to the panes of the windows lining the dining room even now, long after a fire had been laid in the hearth. She had several appointments with wedding vendors, and Annalise shivered at the thought of climbing into chilly hansom cabs all day. December was a dreadful time to plan such an event, but in the end, Annalise could not deny Beth’s wish for a Christmas wedding.
“What are your plans for the day, Mrs. Dalton?”
Jerking in surprise, Annalise mentally cursed when she realized she had spilled her tea onto the pristine white tablecloth. Soaking up the mess with her napkin, she reached for her dignity.
“I have several appointments with various wedding vendors. The flowers need to be selected, Beth’s trousseau completed, and the modiste requires another fitting for my dress.”
“Do you require an escort?”
Annalise blinked. “Of course not. I’ve been traveling all over Bristol for years. Besides, I’m certain you have plenty of business to attend to.”
Taking a sip of tea, Phillip neither confirmed nor denied her assertion.
Fighting the urge to fidget, she waved a hand. “Aside from the cold, I’ll be just fine.”
Phillip cocked his head. “Will you take the carriage?”
