Page 36 of King Foretold
When I walk out to the semi-open main hall, I see a male in a slate gray dopo standing in the courtyard with his back to the pavilion. My heart contracts until I can’t breathe. I don’t need him to turn around to recognize him. I’ll know Ethan anywhere. I resist the urge to dig the heel of my hand against my chest.
Thank gods.
I’mrelievedhe’s here. What the fuck is wrong with me? It gutted me to hurt him last night, but I did it because I love him. How can I be glad he came back when it means I have to hurt him again? Have I always been this selfish?
Miok helps me down the stone steps—I need the help because my gaze is still glued to Ethan—and I slide my feet into the satin slippers she lays out for me. I inhale deeply through my nose, firming my resolve. I paid too big a price—we both did—to let him close that hard-won distance again.
Ethan turns at the soft rustling of our movements. I step out into the courtyard, forcing my face into an indifferent mask.
“What are you ...” I trail off when his lips part on an indrawn breath.
His gaze sweeps over me, once then twice, and a deep flush rises to his cheeks. He closes his eyes and clenches his fists by his sides. My pulse flutters in my throat. Ethan has never seen me like this. He’s seen me in a sparkly minidress, a pair of bloody jeans ... I skip over the memories of him seeing me in various states of undress ... and most recently a dobok. But never like this—dressed with loving care and attention to accentuate my femininity, my softness.
I roamed America on my own, resolutely alone, for over a century. For survival, I had to hide the soft parts of myself, especially in the early years. There were those who would’ve perceived my femininity as a weakness. They would’ve swooped in to take my possessions and violate my body. They would have tried. Theyhavetried. But the hard, snarling part of me stopped them, and that was the only side I let the worlds see for as long as I can remember.
Being soft doesn’t equate to being powerless. I know that now. It’s just a different kind of power. The kind that could bend knees—not through fear and violence—but through trust and devotion. Strength that could heal and inspire.
I’m cold, hard, and vicious. I’m grumpy and sarcastic as hell. But I am also soft, lush, and beautiful. This is a part of me too. I should take care not to forget, even while I hide that part of myself from Ethan.
As I brace myself to meet his gaze again, I wrap my aloofness around me like armor. It feels tight and unnatural, but I’ll adjust to it soon. I’ve done it for a hundred years. It’ll come back to me.
When Ethan finally opens his eyes, strands of silver-and-green light streak through his pupils like shooting stars.So beautiful.My breath leaves me in a whoosh. This is going to be even harder than I thought.
He doesn’t take his gaze off me as he approaches, but I don’t let myself get self-conscious. I pull my shoulders back and lift my chin, carelessly accepting his blatant admiration. No one needs to know that my knees are knocking under my chima.
“Fuck,” Ethan breathes. “I need to rethink your offer from last night.”
A startled laugh tumbles out of me, but I cover it with an affronted scoff. “You said you couldn’t keep things purely physical.”
“I changed my mind.” He swallows with effort. “I can definitely do that.”
“Yeah right.” I roll my eyes, even though I feel oddly triumphant inside. “You need to learn to lie better.”
A sheepish grin quirks his lips. “It was worth a try.”
“Am I supposed to be flattered?” I narrow my eyes at him.
“You should be.” He leans close and whispers in my ear, “You had theKing Foretoldseriously consider becoming your boy toy.”
“Whatever.” I press my thighs together, the full skirt hiding the telltale movement. What he doesn’t know is thatIwould never be able to keep things purely physical. If I let him inside me, I would love him with every inch of my body. Which is whythatcan never happen. “Youshould behonoredI offered to make you my boy toy.”
“Iamhonored.” He gives me a roguish grin.
I sketch a mocking bow. “You’re welcome.”
Ethan chuckles softly and steps back, even as his eyes burn with desire. But my heart breaks for us because underneath the lust and humor, I see his devastation. He believes me. He believes that I don’t love him. I avert my eyes and bury my ragged emotions even deeper inside me.
Then I remember with a start that we are not alone.Shit.I completely forgot about Miok. I’m afraid to look at her. Did she hear the “boy toy” part? My mouth pulls into a cringe as I turn toward her ... but there’s no one at my side.Oh thank gods.She must have silently faded away to give us privacy when Ethan looked at me like I was Venus rising out of the sea. I bite my lip. No matter what happens, I’m storing away that look for my long, lonely nights.
“What are you doing here?” I change the subject before I climb him like a tree and ruin everything.
“I’m here to take advantage of this rare opportunity ...”
“Of me being weak and injured?” I lean into my sarcasm, my favorite coping mechanism.
Ethan sighs ponderously. “Of you having an off day.”
“I get one off day a month.” I’m being difficult for no reason, but I guess that’s kind of the point.
