Page 30 of King Foretold
And I must sway, because Jihun shifts to wrap his arm around my shoulders and offers me his chest to rest my head. My scoff sounds too much like a whimper. I don’t want to burrow into his rock-hard chest, but my head falls against it regardless. On the upside, it feels like a lightly padded brick wall and is surprisingly comfortable.
“Will she be okay?” Jihun asks Minju.
“Her body heals fast,” she hedges. “We don’t need to worry about that part.”
Is she implying there’s a part wedoneed to worry about? I’m too woozy to ask, but luckily, Jihun has the same question. “Whatdowe need to worry about?”
“Her bloodlust.” Minju lowers her voice as though she’s suddenly concerned about her bedside manners. “Captain Seo believes Sunny is too even keeled to lose her head like that, and ... she sensed dark magic coming off of her.”
The captain actually said something not insulting about me? I’m more shocked by that than the dark-magic part because I might already know the answer to that one. I haven’t told Minju, oranyone, about the word of power branded on my back. I don’t know if it was shame that held me back, or something else. I think a part of me didn’t want anyone to take it from me.
But that can’t be right. Why would I want to cling on to the dark magic that killed my mother? It doesn’t matter. Whatever it was that held me back, I have to get over it. I can’t risk hurting anyone.
I’m tired of not being able to trust myself. I’m done being afraid that my powers will harm people. I finally came to terms with being a gumiho. I came to terms with the Yeoiju being a power for good. I accepted thatIcan be good. I will not let a fuckingstainon my back sentence me to a life of paranoia again. That’s one part of my old life I definitely don’t miss.
“I think I know ...” I lift my head away from Jihun’s chest and shake his arm off my shoulders. He drops it immediately but doesn’t move away.Fine.I surreptitiously lean my shoulder against his arm to keep myself steady. “I think I know the source of my bloodlust.”
Minju grabs my hand. “Tell us.”
Biting down on my lip, I shift on the bedding and push my shirt off one shoulder. “It won’t wash off.”
“Is that the rune Daeseong used against your mother?” the historian asks haltingly. “The word of power you spoke out loud?”
“Are you asking if this is what I used to accidentally destroy the study?” I tug my shirt back into place, covering the rune. “Then yes. That’s the one.”
The room grows quiet. Minju glances at Jihun with something like panic in her eyes, and he wraps his arm around my shoulders again. I don’t shake it off.
“So what do we need to do?” I clasp my hands in front of my bosom like anything is possible with a little gumption. “I bet you know some good cleansing spells, right? Should we chant one to scrub this little stain off?” When she doesn’t say anything, I prattle, “Worse comes to worst, I’ll go back to the Mortal Realm and get it lasered out like people do with drunk tattoos.”
“You can’t go through the Gray Void.” Minju shakes her head as the blood drains from her face. “It will sense the dark magic in you and destroy you.”
“Wh ... what?” I rear back and nearly headbutt Jihun’s face. “I have to go through the Gray Void to get to the Mortal Realm. It’s theonlyway home. What do you mean I can’t go through it?”
“The Gray Void exists to stop the Amheuk from reaching the Realm of Four Kingdoms.” The historian sends Jihun another wide-eyed look, and he nods for her to continue. “It will detect and destroy any trace of dark magic that comes within its reach.”
“Why are we talking in circles?” I throw my hands up. Then I double over, feeling the pain in my stomach all the way to the back of my teeth. I hiss out a long breath, holding still until the throbbing subsides. “Let’s get this creepy rune off my back. I don’t want it.”
“I ... I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to remove it.” Minju covers her face with her hands.
“What do you mean you don’t know how?” Panic and ... triumph clench my insides into a confused knot.
“I’m so sorry,” she says, repeating the useless apology. “This is all my fault.”
It is her fault,an insidious voice says in my head as heat spreads across my back. I clench my jaw to hold back the words. To hold back the rage. I twist the blanket in my hands and fight to slow down my breathing.
“There’s no use assigning blame at this point.” Jihun watches me with a troubled expression. “We need to focus on finding the solution.”
“Yes.” Minju sniffs loudly, then turns to me. “I’ll make it right, Sunny. I’ll find a way to erase the rune. I promise you.”
“Soon?” I ask in a small voice, exhausted from keeping my dark anger in check. “I ... I don’t feel like myself.”
A part of me wants this power—this broken and tortured magic, jarring in its wrongness. Something in mecravesit. It makes me powerful, and I’m desperate to destroy Daeseong. If I cross this line, what does that make me? Then I remember the awful magic that has always been a part of me—the forbidden power I’ve buried so deep inside that I nearly forgot its existence. Have I been fooling myself all this time?CanI choose to be good?
“This darkness inside you ...” The weight of Jihun’s hand feels comforting on my back. “It isn’t you, Sunny.”
I meet his eyes but quickly look away. The sincerity in his gaze—his faith in me—is too much. Because I want it too much. I’m afraid to need it—to need friends who believe in me, even when I doubt myself. But I hesitantly take strength from Jihun and remind myself that I can control my hidden power. I can choose to never use it. There’s that, at least. As for the word of power on my back, Minju will make it right. She promised.
“Whose room is this anyway?” I clear my throat and glance around the small bedroom.
