Page 57 of Wish You Were Her
“Grace, I’m autistic.”
Allegra said the words quietly.
“Like Jonah?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool. Thank you for telling me.”
No prodding remarks. No demands. Nothing intrusive. Grace took in the information, honoring her name and making Allegra feel more at home than she ever had in her own apartment.
“You know,” Allegra heard herself saying. “My life is so lonely. I was in my apartment once, reading a script, and a line in it said that scientifically, we all lie at least once a day. And I realized it was almost midnight and I hadn’t spoken to a single soul that day. So I had broken the rule. Except, I guess, I was lying to myself.”
The other girl’s hand did not loosen or edge away. “You’ve got us now.”
The words were the breaking of a curse and Allegra felt tears start to fall.
Before she could tell Grace how much her words meant to a confused movie star, the bedroom door opened and closed. Light filled the room for the briefest moment from the hall before whomever it was shut it out again. The bed creaked as someone flung themselves onto it and Allegra and Grace had to cover their mouths to keep from alerting the new person to their presence on the floor next to the bed.
They could hear the person tapping on their phone. They typed steadily and without interruption for a while, as if sending a long message—or, Allegra considered with her heart inher throat, an email. Then, when they were finally finished, the room was completely black again as they tucked away their phone. They exhaled and Allegra finally did, too
Allegra knew, from the faint smell of neroli, that it was Jonah.
Her urge to laugh was suddenly gone. She became as still as the expensive art on the walls.
“Thought you were lost.” It was Kerrie, from the doorway. She slipped inside and Allegra and Grace both tensed as she climbed onto the bed next to Jonah. Grace squeezed Allegra’s hand in a vicelike grip, as if to say, “Do you think they’re about to… you know?”
Allegra hoped not. The idea made her inexplicably furious. Anger that she had no business feeling started to pulse inside her head. She and Jonah were not even friends, she had no right to get jealous about what Kerrie wanted to happen.
“You really do look nice tonight,” Kerrie said softly, clearly reiterating an earlier compliment. Her voice was hushed and sensual, and it made Allegra’s eyelashes hurt and her heart feel too big for her chest.
“Thanks.” Jonah’s voice was deep and gruff. Uninviting, Allegra thought. She heard one of them, probably Kerrie, shift on the bed.
“Yeah, parties are just a lot,” he added, as if trying to fill the gap in conversation.
Grace’s touch was ghostlike but definitely there.
“Jonah.”
Kerrie’s voice was almost wheedling, but still quiet.
“Don’t, Ker. Let’s just—”
“You look so good.”
And then the sound of kissing was all Allegra could hear, and her eyes closed in horror. Even the music downstairs seemed to cease.
It made sense, she told herself over the sound of Kerrie pressing her mouth to Jonah’s. They were schoolfriends, old friends even, and Kerrie had openly told Allegra about her crush.
Still, when she heard Jonah pull away, Allegra opened her eyes.
“Sorry, Ker. I’m all over the place at the moment. You’re great. I—I’ve always thought so, but I’m… I’m just…”
Grace’s body was shaking with silent laughter. Allegra knew it wasn’t born from nastiness, the girl was just beside herself with discomfort at being trapped in this situation. Grace was completely overcome by awkwardness. If it had been anyone else making out above them, Allegra would have been the same way. But something was needling her.
She heard Kerrie kiss Jonah again and even though she was lying in darkness, Allegra could picture it. The gentle force which wore Jonah down, just enough for him to join in with a little more enthusiasm. Then, a sigh like a record scratch:
“Allegra.”
