Page 47 of I Did Something Bad
Thuzar’s mouth hangs open. “Shut. Up.You’redoing the Tyler Tun profile? Holy shit!” She throws her hands in the air. “This is huge! Oh my god, now I’mreallyfeeling the pressure. Because obviouslyyou’regoing to write a bad-ass profile and what if the photos don’t measure up? Ben!” Her jaw hardens. “No more messing around. We have to be serious about this.”
“Wewerese—”
“We’re starting in fifteen!” Thuzar yells back at the room, and her command ramps up the noise and movement and overall mood. “Sogreat to meet you, Khin,” she adds with a smile. “I’ve gotta go switch out a couple of mood boards, but I hope you have fun today!” And then she leaves, and despite his legs being twice as long as hers, Ben visibly struggles to keep up.
I’m still watching the two of them when a voice whispers behind me, “Hey.” When I jump and turn, Tyler has his hands raised. “Sorry.” He grimaces. “I was tryingnotto startle you.”
“You’re good,” I say, the feral, objectifying part of me that he always seems to briefly bring out noting that he looks incredible. He’s wearing a light cream shirt under a bubblegum-pink suit, white-with-beige-accents sneakers finishing off the outfit. His vibe is that of someone who will bring the perfect gift to your parents’ anniversary party, but also give you the best orgasm of your life when you get home.
Wow, Khin, what a weirdly specific vibe to have on hand.
“You know Thuzar?” Tyler asks.
I follow his gaze to the corner where Thuzar’s setting up for the first shots. “Apparently,” I say.
“Oh?”
I sigh and jerk a thumb over my shoulder. “You see the white guy helping her out?”
“Yeah, her boyfriend-slash-assistant. Ben.” His brows jump when I laugh. “What’s so funny?”
“Ben, before he was Thuzar’s boyfriend-slash-assistant was…” I chuckle, both at myself and at the situation. “My husband.”
Tyler’s eyes hop back and forth between me and Ben, gradually enlarging as my words settle in. “Oh,” he says at last. “He’s—”
“Yep.”
“Did you know he was—”
“Going to be here? Dating someone new? No and no.”
“Are you—”
I hold up a hand. “I’m fine. We separated over six months ago. Thuzar seems good for him. I mean, look at them.” I turn around and tilt my head to where Ben is holding up two different lenses as Thuzar studies them. “They… make sense. She’s anartiste. Look at her withher funky artiste glasses and flowy artiste overalls. He can now talk about apertures and ISOs with someone who’ll actually get it.”
“We’re starting in two minutes!” Thuzar calls out as she grabs the lens in Ben’s left hand.
“That’s my cue,” Tyler says. I flash him two thumbs-up and expect him to start walking, but he doesn’t move. “I just wanna say, Khin,” he begins—and yep, right on cue, my heart does that stupid twisty thing at the sound of him saying my name; apparently, it missed the memo that Tyler and I are no longer friends, but more in a somewhat cold war situation. “As someone who dated Annie Leibovitz’s niece for a year—”
My jaw drops. “You dated Annie Leibovitz’s niece for a year?”
One corner of his lip turns upward, just so slightly. “—Artistesmight be what some people are looking for, but it’s not exactly in my top criteria when it comes to dating. It’s not in a lot of people’s, actually.”
Maybe I’m looking for an ego boost, or maybe I’m realizing that this is the longest conversation we’ve had in a week and I’ve missed talking to him more than I let myself admit, because against every iota of logic, I hear myself reply, “Whatisin your top criteria?,” aware that I am, by all accounts, trying to flirt.
“Overalls are overrated,” he says, brown eyes flickering down at something behind me, something that makes his smile quirk a tiny bit wider before adding, “I’ve always been more of a classic blue-jeans kind of guy.” And then he moves past me like he doesn’t clock my stunned reaction.
It doesn’t bode well for me that, as the situation dictates, I have to stare at Tyler for the next three hours. Things, thoughts,scenesare playing out in my head, and I don’t know how to make them stop. I want to be in front of him, near him, touching him. I begin inserting myself into each shot—and the longer I stare at him, the more mydeep, primal (and not to mention, embarrassing) want grows. In my head, I walk over and take his hand to show him a new pose. I imagine Tyler staring downat meas he undoes his jacket buttons. Tyler winkingat me,one hand casually ruffling his hair. Tyler grinning into a standalone lighted makeup mirrorat my reflection. In that last setup, imaginary Khin then approaches him from behind, one hand reaching around to untuck his shirt as she tiptoes and whispers into his ear—
“Got it! Let’s take a breather! Good work, everyone!”
As soon as Thuzar calls for a break, I’m the first to speed-walk out of the room, down the stairs, and out into the blazing sun. Maybe the external heat will temper my internal heat and I’ll reestablish equilibrium. Maybe it’ll burn these—
“Khin—”
“What?” I ask, recognizing Ben’s voice before he’s in front of me.
“We need to talk.” He motions at me to follow him to the small walkway on one side of the house.
