Page 38 of Let the Game Begin
“Sometimes, difference is not accepted because it is not understood. That’s the way of the world.” He raised his eyes to me and his gaze had changed yet again. I could see the indomitable fire in his eyes, and once again, I caught of the glimpse of his anger, that part of himself that he was always trying to keep at bay.
I didn’t want him to misinterpret me and think I was rejecting him forthe same reason everyone else did. People usually didn’t even try to explore the mysterious world inside him. But I had never been a surface-level kind of girl.
I took a few steps toward him. Unsure, weak, and slow, but still moving toward him. He kept still, watching me warily. I stopped a few inches from his body, my stomach level with his face. I could smell amber and tobacco. Instinctively, I reached out to stroke his hair, and he let me do it. It was soft to the touch. Clean, fragrant, and messy, just like always.
“Sometimes, we need a little help to understand difference. Some special people are a bit more complex than us mere mortals,” I told him, and then I smiled and Neil looked at me with such blazing heat. He reached out for my right knee, still staring at me. He was tacitly asking for permission to touch me, and I didn’t have the strength in that moment to push him away, so I nodded.
My consent obtained, he put both of his hands, warm and strong, on my knees. He moved them slowly up my thighs until they reached the hem of my shorts. I shivered at his seductive touch, freezing and yet fiery at the same time. He rubbed the fabric and then started upward again, this time all the way to the elastic band.
I could feel my heart pounding in my throat and shivers running down my spine, but I allowed myself to be explored. And when he hooked two fingers around my waistband, I let him. He slid the shorts down my legs and I stepped out of them. I was left in only my panties and T-shirt.
We stared into each other’s eyes, fully aware of what was about to happen. Even I, who just moments ago had been so afraid of his presence, wanted nothing more than for his fingers to keep tracing new routes across the map of my body.
“Softly…” was all I said. He hadn’t done anything to prompt me to whisper that small request, but he knew that he needed to be gentle, and he smiled at me. Then he delicately raised the hem of my T-shirt and pressed a kiss to my lower abdomen. I startled when I felt the stubble on his jaw, and Neil shot me an amused glance.
With another smile, he continued kissing my stomach, raising the fabric with one hand. He kissed my hips and my belly before I lifted my arms up tohelp him get my shirt off completely. The garment had landed somewhere on the floor, and I saw how his eyes were trained on my bare breasts.
I turned red, and he shook his head at my embarrassment. He rested his hands on my hips and traced the shape of them, like an artist might do with a sculpture. He was contemplating me, adoring me, even with all my flaws. He encircled my breasts with his large hands, then he coaxed out my nipples and took one between his lips. Softly, out of deference for my earlier request. I felt his damp tongue moving in circles, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Rising and falling to the silent music of our desire, I slipped a hand into his hair and pulled him tight against my chest.
I had never experienced anything like it before, but I immediately understood why women loved this kind of thing. A strange warm feeling spread from where his lips touched me to down between my thighs. I still had time to stop it—to stop him—but I wanted him.
Sure, it was a contradiction, fearing and wanting a person at the same time, but I couldn’t seem to help myself.
All at once, Neil quit teasing my breasts and stood up. I found myself leaning on his still fully clothed body and shivered from the cold. He stared deeply into my eyes, maybe wondering if he should stop or keep going. There were so many things I wanted to tell him, but my feelings were so intense they prevented me from speaking.
He brushed his knuckles across my cheek and studied the features of my face: my forehead, my eyes, my nose, my lips. I was afraid he wouldn’t like what he saw, and that insecurity had me lowering my chin to escape his stare. Neil however, dispelled my fears, taking my hands and putting them on the hem of his tank top. He wanted me to undress him, that was obvious, and I felt a thrill of embarrassment over my inexperience.
Were there certain rules one was meant to follow when undressing a man? I didn’t know, and I couldn’t think clearly with all the tension in the air.
“I’m nervous,” I whispered, and he gave me knowing, indulgent look. He moved without haste, in a reassuring sort of way, because I was so terribly awkward and taut as a violin string.
“Keep going.” He put his hands over mine and guided them slowly upward before letting me continue on my own. I pulled his shirt up to hisshoulders, but he was so tall that he had to help me out for the last bit. I took it off him and tossed it carelessly somewhere on the floor.
Then, I examined the half-moon shape of his pectoral muscles, the delineating lines of his abs, and the V of his pelvic area, still mostly covered by his pants. Once again, my eyes snagged on the tattoo around his left hip, the lines of it intersecting to form some sort of symbol, but I was too flustered to examine it in detail.
I had no idea what I was supposed to do.
Should I touch him? Kiss him? Seduce him in some way?
I started to panic. I stepped back and all my inexperience reared its head just to remind me how completely inappropriate and unprepared I was for an expert like him.
He was going to laugh when he realized what a little nothing I was, how incapable I was of pleasing him the way other girls did.
“Sorry… I… I…” I babbled. I wanted to run—run anywhere—just to get away from that powerful, imposing body. “I don’t know what to do… I don’t know where to start…” I blathered on, shaking. I even forgot about my near-nudity. My legs were beginning to feel unsteady, and I nearly fell, but Neil caught me with one arm. My breasts pressed against his bare chest, and I sucked in a breath. For the first time, I was skin to skin with him, and it felt incredible.
“Everything’s going to be okay. Calm down. Keep going,” he repeated in a low voice, and I nodded along. He pressed closer to me and kissed my neck while my frozen hands remained motionless on his hard abdomen. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on nothing but the slow, expert way his lips moved over my skin. I was sure that he could feel the beat of my heart, now noticeably erratic.
He kissed me just underneath my ear, and I couldn’t help but smile because his stubble created just the right amount of friction there—pleasant and arousing at the same time. He kept peppering my jaw and cheeks with kisses before moving on to my lips. He paused and I opened my eyes to find him staring right at me.
Was he still looking for confirmation from me? It was clear by this point that I didn’t want him to stop.
“Keep going,” I whispered and our gazes intertwined like a golden rope between us.
Then, Neil brushed my lips with a series of small, fleeting kisses that only deepened my desire for more contact with him. Unconsciously, my hands drifted down, and I traced the ridges of his sculpted abdomen. I’d never touched anyone that way before.
A moment later, his mouth crashed down onto mine. I shut my eyes and welcomed his hot tongue as it began to gently swirl in time with mine. I touched his hips then moved up to his back. I drew my fingers down the line of his spine all the way to his firm ass. I realized that, under his tutelage, I was developing some ease and a sense of spontaneity.
He continued kissing me, and as he did so, gently pushed me down until I was lying on the bed. I felt my naked shoulders hit the coolness of the sheets.
