Page 99 of Let the Game Begin
After about ten minutes, he parked the car in front of a chocolate shop. I frowned and leaned forward to get a better look. It was a large space with big windows that allowed me to see the cozy furnishings inside. I also noticed that the tables inside were all full of people, so I turned to Neil with a sigh. I looked bad. I’d just taken a beating, and I had the evidence of it all over me. Neil must have sensed the direction of my thoughts, because he looked between me and the chocolate shop in a considering sort of way.
“Wait here for me,” he said, getting out of the car. He didn’t even wait for my response; he just walked in the entrance with his usual proud bearing. My eyes dipped down to ogle his firm backside that contracted with every step until he vanished from my field of vision. I made myself comfortable in the passenger seat and waited a few minutes until he reappeared with a small box in hand. He got back into the car and handed it to me.
“Can you hold that for me?” he asked, and I accepted it, noting the blue paper it was wrapped in.
“Aw, did you buy me chocolates? I didn’t think you were romantic like that,” I said, giving him a little bit of hard time. He started the engine but not before giving me one of his usual severe expressions.
“Do I strike you as cliché?” He rejoined traffic and proceeded along another street that I didn’t know; it was taking us farther and farther away from our neighborhood.
“I never thought you were, no,” I admitted, holding the box tightly tokeep it from sliding around, especially when Neil took hard turns or passed someone recklessly. He drove terribly, or rather, he always drove like he was in the middle of an illegal street race, but I didn’t point that out to him because I didn’t need another argument. I didn’t even ask him any more questions, because I could tell that he wasn’t in the mood for talking.
Eventually, we stopped at a park. Neil turned off the car and sat comfortably, looking out at the scene in front of him.
“We can stay in the car, if you’d like. It’s a bit cold to sit outside,” he said, not even looking at me. I turned to him in amazement. Neil always had the uncanny ability to understand me even when I didn’t explain myself. I smiled at him, grateful for the choice, and when our gazes met, I found myself getting lost in his eyes again. They were even more spectacular when they caught the rays of sun filtering in through the car’s windshield.
“Open it,” he said, jerking his chin at the box still sitting on my lap. I had completely forgotten about it.
But I didn’t need to be told twice.
Inside, there were four magnificent rectangular cookies, each one with a smiley face inscribed into it.
“Are you trying to fatten me up?” I grinned, my eyes fixed on the treats. They looked tempting, and I couldn’t wait to try them.
“These are the best cookies in New York. The chips are made of artisanal chocolate. Close your eyes and pick one, then read the sentence on the back.”
Neil never ceased to astound me. I shut my eyes, perceiving nothing but the sound of our breathing, and grabbed a cookie.
“You can open your eyes now,” he ordered, giving me goosebumps.
I did as he instructed and turned my cookie over, reading aloud, “I may be all grown up now, but if I see you without a smile, I’ll grab a pencil and draw it in for you like a little kid.”
Neil gave me a serious look, almost shocked by what I’d just read. He looked down at the cookie in my hand and then back up at my face in disbelief.
“Are you messing with me?” he asked in confusion, leaning over to make sure that I was being honest.
“Of course not,” I said, quickly biting into one cookie and giving him a one-shoulder shrug. They were delightful!
Neil frowned, then let his head fall back against the seat, thoughtful.
“Mmm… These are delicious,” I moaned with my mouth full, a few crumbs tumbling out as I did. Neil tracked the path of the falling particles and cocked an eyebrow at me. I stopped chewing and prepared myself for another one of his sharp, insulting comments. But instead he just bit his lip and sighed.
“No one has ever eaten in my car. I don’t even fuck in here,” he explained, looking me right in the eye. He wanted me to understand that this was a special privilege he was granting me, something he didn’t allow any of his other lovers to do.
I took another bite and didn’t respond. I was sometimes afraid that I was going to say the wrong thing to him and change his whole mood; he was so terribly erratic. Even now, I wasn’t sure whether he was warning me, criticizing me, or just making an observation.
“So…” I decided to change the subject. “Is this some bizarre way of declaring your love for me?” I asked sarcastically. I don’t know why I even said something like that. Maybe I was just trying to hide my own real feelings. If I was being honest, I felt shattered, and I was still trying to find the strength to deal with the humiliation I’d suffered at Jennifer’s hands.
Neil smiled again in that seductive way he had, and suddenly my stomach clenched.
“These are called ‘Good Mood Cookies,’” he explained. “I just wanted you to smile again. Neither Jennifer nor anyone else should have the power to make you miserable. Understand?” He reached a hand up to my face and daubed a few crumbs from my lower lip with his thumb. In that moment, I ceased to think, speak, or even breathe.
“That’s not something I can control,” I murmured, looking into his eyes.
“We can’t control when we get hurt, but we can control who we suffer over, and Jennifer is not worth feeling bad about.” As Neil continued to hold my stare, I tried to read his golden eyes like were the most beautiful book I’d ever encountered.
“And what about you? Would you be worth suffering for?” I asked, because everything I had endured from his lover I had endured for him.
Everything I did was for him now.
