Page 67 of Let the Game Begin
“I can’t tell if that unshakable confidence of yours is just a perk of being an asshole or if it’s some weird attempt to get girls,” I said, and Neil quirked the corner of his lips in an amused expression. I didn’t really know what he’d found funny about what I said, but I kept my guard up just the same.
Neil took off his gloves and even that casual movement was appealing. Then, he looked at me again, and I couldn’t breathe as he advanced on me, one step at a time, calm and measured. He bent down next to the weight bench, grabbed a bottle of water from the floor and slowly unscrewed the top.
“Why are you here?” He brought the water bottle to his lips and took a long drink, never taking his eyes from me. My gaze dipped to follow the gleaming water droplets that slid down his chest, and I could feel my heartbeat speeding up.
I had to resist, to control the unhealthy attraction that drew me to him, and show him that I wasn’t as weak as he thought.
“The right answer would be that I’m not here to try to love or understand you,” I murmured. Neil stopped drinking and capped the bottle, setting it back down on the floor.
“And what’s the real answer?”
He picked up a folded towel and used it to blot his chest, all the timewearing the smug expression of someone who knew very well that he had an irresistible body.
“I’m here to offer you a compromise…”
What a liar. I’d gotten there purely by chance, and I didn’t even know when exactly that idea had come to me. It was just a gut feeling, come to my rescue at an opportune moment.
“What compromise? I’m not the kind of person who folds easily to the will of others,” he said in a peremptory tone.
No, he wasn’t. Neil was the kind of man who loved to manipulate without being manipulated, who enjoyed using women like sex dolls while never giving more of himself than absolutely necessary.
“I’m not the kind of person who likes to impose my will on others.” It was true. I didn’t want him to be subject to my will. I didn’t want to change him or even judge him, but just to know him. And so I had lied to him, a little bit: I did want to understand him, even if I didn’t love him. Love was an emotion that I didn’t associate with Neil at all. Even though I was a romantic at heart, I knew that love required more than physical chemistry and sexual satisfaction. Love was composed of so many more elements that were missing from both my relationship with Jared and whatever strange thing I had going on with Neil.
“I am. I’m the kind of person who likes doing that,” he answered bluntly before tossing the towel away and taking a deep breath. Then he began to examine me, analyzing me like I was an unstable chemical compound.
“You can have everything you want…as long as I get something of you.” That was my condition. And then, driven by a boldness I didn’t think I’d possessed, I made one more attempt to convince him to accept my proposal. I drew one hand along the line of my cleavage, sliding my fingers down slowly. I was wearing a basic blue shirt with a bow at the collar, which was neither sexy nor provocative, but I still tried to appear confident and audacious.
Neil followed my movement with his golden eyes, all the way down to the waistband of my pants, where my hand finally stopped. I could feel the heat in my cheeks, and I hoped I wasn’t visibly blushing, or my plan was going to fail miserably.
Neil advanced on me, the smell of him invading the air around me. He was obviously sweaty, yet the clean smell of artificial amber still lingered on his body. I wanted to ask him why he bathed so often that he always smelled like soap, but I was waiting for just the right time.
When he was close enough that I had to tilt my head back to look at him, he grabbed me by the hips like an animal and pulled me violently against him. I let out a surprised sound and a jolt of pure pleasure moved through me.
He smiled at me as he ran his fingers along the front of my pants until he reached the buttons. His intent was clear: he wanted something from me right here, right now, and he wasn’t offering anything in return.
“I already gave you my body.” He confirmed my thoughts in a lascivious tone. He clearly felt that should have been enough to satisfy me. I wasn’t like the others, though.
“You give that to everyone.” I shoved his chest roughly, the only place my hands could reach him. I didn’t move him an inch, but he took a few steps back on his own, probably annoyed by my reaction. His gaze had darkened, and suddenly, his expression changed.
“What the fuck do you want then?” he bellowed. I wondered why he seemed to slide so easily into angry bewilderment. One only needed to push a few buttons to make his bad side emerge.
“Tell me!” he shouted at me again, and I flinched, backing away from him. I didn’t want to look weak, but I was actually afraid that he might hurt me, even if only by accident.
“I want to talk to you, Neil. There is more than just sex. People have conversations, discussions, they get to know each other and understand each other. Some of them even end up loving each other!” I said in an angry rush, and he stared at me, stupefied. He was breathing heavily, and he looked lost, like he no longer knew where he was. He scrubbed a hand over his face and shook his head, brushing past me to leave the gym.
But I wasn’t going to give up that easily, so I followed him to his room. He tried to close the door in my face, but I was faster and blocked it with both hands, managing to squeeze inside. Neil examined me again, this time looking frightened. He was like a wild animal, certain he was about to be captured and crammed into a cage, but that wasn’t my intention.
Instead, I wanted to free him from the cage he’d locked himself inside.
“Get out!” He shooed me away, but I paid him no mind and shut the door behind me instead. There was no one else in the house except for Anna, who could probably hear us shouting.
“Calm down.” I adjusted my approach, trying to be understanding and placid.
Neil went to the bedside table and retrieved a cigarette from the pack of Winstons lying there. He lit one rapidly, like he’d die if didn’t immediately inhale the disgusting thing, and took a deep drag before releasing the smoke into the air. I stayed right where I was, studying his every movement.
A few moments later, he went to the window and threw it open, leaning one shoulder against the wall next to it. Standing there, barely illuminated by the colors of the dying sunset, he looked like a demon for real, ready to feed on me and then spit out my empty husk.
His breathing got more regular as his drags on the cigarette increased, the nicotine having a tranquilizing effect on him. I glanced around the black and cobalt-blue room, trying not stress him out more. With his watchful eyes on me, I took shaky steps forward until I could sit down on the edge of his bed, hands resting on my thighs.
