Page 52 of Let the Game Begin
I didn’t flinch away from that contact, even though I wanted to.
“Interesting,” Logan commented with a grin.
“Yep,” Jared answered, never taking his eyes from the tantalizing devilacross the table. “And what do you do, Neil?” he asked, wiping his lips with the napkin and scrutinizing him closely.
“I survive,” was all he said, and an eerie silence fell over us. Mia looked uncomfortable, Matt was frowning, and Logan squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.
Neil’s eyes were heavy with sorrow but also with an incredible strength, the kind that comes from fighting something dark and evil. Something powerful and deeply rooted in his soul.
“Dessert, anyone?” Anna broke in, a dissonant voice that relieved the tension and restored the balance of the gathering.
***
Dinner ended shortly after that.
After dessert, Neil vanished into the garden to lay in the hammock and smoke a cigarette. I wanted to chase after him and make sure he was okay after his evasive response to Jared, but I couldn’t.
“You’re a really great guy, Jared,” Matt said, pulling my attention back to him.
“Thank you, Dr. Anderson. Please know that I care deeply about your daughter and that you can trust me,” Jared answered.
I tried to cast out the miserable feeling in my chest but to no avail. It felt like many tiny needles were pricking my heart, because I knew that I was going to have to put an end to this farce sooner rather than later.
“I have no doubts about that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get ready for bed. I’m quite tired. Don’t stay up too late, kids,” Matt said, heading upstairs with Mia and Logan, who would be going out shortly. And so Jared and I were left alone in the living room.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” I asked him, somewhat anxiously. If I were being honest, I should have been trying to talk to him about all sorts of things, but my bravery came and went intermittently. It was like it was mocking me.
Jared ignored my suggestion and wrapped an arm around my hips to pull me forcefully against him.
“I think it’s time for you to give me a kiss,” he whispered, just a shortdistance from my lips. His breathing sped up, but not from excitement, rather it was from the difficulty of trying to hold that position for too long.
“Hold your horses. First, I need to show you the guest room, then we can watch a nice movie.”
I bought myself some time by showing him the room where he’d be staying. While I was at it, I also gave him a quick tour of the house. Jared was stunned at the scope of the place.
I was tense, my body rigid the whole time, but talking about other things helped me build up the courage I needed to deal with what was sure to be the worst part of the evening.
When we got back to the living room, I tried to look relaxed as I sat down on the couch. “So, what genre are you thinking? Horror? Thriller? Crime?” I asked him, still stalling, but Jared didn’t want to waste any more time with talk. He sat down next to me and took my wrists, leaning into my lips and seeking contact once again.
“I don’t care about the movie; I just want to be with you,” he whispered, before stealing a kiss that I know he would have deepened, had I not abruptly pulled away. He gave me a blank look, cocking his head in confusion.
“We need to talk, Jared,” I said, trying to gather my thoughts. I rubbed the back of my hand over my lips, uncomfortable with the idea that his saliva might supplant the taste of Neil that remained there.
It was always still there, at least in my mind.
“Selene,” Jared sighed wearily. “I’m having a shitty time right now, and you’re the only good thing in my life. Everything in Detroit has changed since you left. My father isn’t cutting me a single break with work, my classes are intense, and with Mom fighting cancer, I…” A shadow fell over his finely drawn features. His green eyes glistened and his jaw tensed. Immediately, I felt the urge to comfort him, so I took his face in my hands.
“Hey, hey, everything’s going to be okay,” I whispered gently. I knew all about his troubles; our bond had been cemented by supporting one another through our most difficult moments. Jared really was a guy with a huge heart, loving and completely unselfish. He adored his parents, and the burden of all their troubles often fell on him because he was their only child. His mother was diagnosed with cancer before we even met.
“I just want to be with you,” he said again, kissing my neck. He hugged me, seeking the comfort that I had never hesitated to give him in previous months. How was I supposed to confess everything to him when he was in such a delicate and vulnerable mental state?
“I’ll make you some hot chocolate,” I told him instead and headed for the kitchen, where I rummaged around for a saucepan. When I found one, I got out the hot chocolate mix and grabbed some milk from the fridge. I poured everything into the pot and started heating it. I needed to figure out the most opportune moment to talk to Jared and—
“Did you tell him yet?” asked an unmistakable baritone behind me. I spun around fearfully and found Neil leaning one shoulder on the doorframe, looking beautiful as ever. He was breathtaking.
“That’s my business,” I snapped shortly.
And why did he care? In the end, what happened between the two of us was meaningless, and I was acutely aware of that fact.
