Page 201 of Let the Game Begin
“Always follow your heart,”my mother often said, but her maxim now seemed like a huge pile of bullshit to me. A heart could cause irreversible damage, the kind that all the reason in the world couldn’t fix.
It occurred to me how strange this feeling really was: I had made a mistake and kept on making it, and yet, I didn’t regret it. In fact, if I had access to a time machine, I would have done the exact same things over again.
With him.
***
I opened my closet and gathered up the last of my clothing to put in my suitcase. I was still concerned and disturbed over what had happened on Halloween, about the puzzle we’d received. And what was I doing? I was running away like a coward.
I still couldn’t believe myself.
“Selene,” Alyssa called to me, but I didn’t answer. She was sitting on the edge of the bed and had been watching me with increasing concern for approximately the last hour. I didn’t want to explain what was wrong with me, however, because she just would have scolded me and told me I should just stay away from a guy like Neil. That he was too complicated, too troubled, and too lots of other things as well.
“I have to hurry, Alyssa,” I said shortly, glancing around so I could avoid meeting her eyes or revealing how hurt I was about my impending departure.
I looked around my room and saw it as clearly as if it had been written on the walls: the hopes, the expectations, and good intentions…they were all faded now.
I had failed in my attempt to save Neil, but he had failed as well. He lacked the courage to let himself be saved.
“Selene, your silence is really worrying me,” Alyssa announced, getting to her feet. I shut my suitcase and took it off the bed, setting it down on the floor.
“I’ve just got a lot on my mind.” I smiled weakly at her and put on my light-colored trench coat, leaving my hair loose around my shoulders.
“I still can’t believe you’re leaving.” Her voice broke a little, and it made me sad to hear her feeling so down.
“Alyssa, you can come visit me whenever you want.” I moved closer to her and put my hands on her shoulders. “We’ll stay in touch. What’s a two-hour flight, anyway?” I smiled, but that only seemed to make things worse, and soon Alyssa was on the verge of tears. I hugged her tightly and held her for a very long time. Then, I pulled away from her and grabbed my suitcase because it was time for me to go.
“Ready?” When I got down to the living room, Logan was standing therewith the aid of his crutches. He gave me a glum smile and Alyssa quickly went to him to allow him to lean on her.
“As I’ll ever be.” I pulled my suitcase along behind me as I said goodbye to Anna.
“We will always be here for you if you need us, Miss Selene. It was a pleasure meeting you.” She pressed a kiss to my cheek with a maternal warmth that made me blush, and I walked past her to see the melancholy faces of Matt and Mia.
“You are a wonderful girl. Come back soon; I’ll be waiting for you.” Mia pulled me into a heartrending embrace that I hadn’t been expecting. I felt almost suffocated in her arms, but at the same time, I knew how sincere her kindness was and had always been. I wrapped my arms around her waist and gave her all the time she needed to come to terms with my abrupt decision to leave.
“Selene, I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you’re leaving.” Chloe also showed unexpected warmth. She embraced me and I smiled at her, advising her to stay safe and keep her grades up.
“Are you sure you want to take a taxi? We can take you to the airport,” my father suggested for the umpteenth time, but I shook my head.
“No, don’t worry about it,” I answered firmly. Then, just as he took one step forward to hug me, I took one back to avoid any physical contact with him. His eyes couldn’t hide the devastating sorrow that he felt in that moment, while mine remained cold and detached even in the face of heartbreaking emotions.
I went to the front door and opened it out onto the front stoop, followed by Logan and Alyssa. I hadn’t been expecting Neil to come and say goodbye to me, so I felt my heart lurch when a black Maserati drove through the enormous main gates and down the driveway toward the house.
Everything inside me suddenly switched on, as though my soul had been abruptly awakened. My knees trembled and an overwhelming feeling of turmoil had me swaying on my feet. Alyssa and Logan exchanged knowing looks before turning their attention to me.
“Maybe it would be best if…” Logan began.
“We gave you some privacy,” Alyssa finished.
“Call us when you get there,” she added, giving me one last hug.
Logan hugged me as well, saying with certainty, “We’ll come to visit you.”
“I’m counting on it.” I broke our embrace and gave him an honest smile, trying to hide how ill at ease I truly was.
Occasionally, one encounters special people with the power to reach deep inside with only a smile, a hug, or a gesture of kindness. Logan and Alyssa were those kind of people, and I would carry them in my heart forever.
“Selene.” Neil’s baritone startled me, making every cell in my body vibrate. I looked him from head to toe: the sun made his wild hair and golden eyes even more brilliant.
