Page 24 of Desire and Discipline
“So. What would you like to know?”
“Everything.”
Catherine laughed at the prompt reply, and Priscilla smiled, though it had not been a joke. Fortunately, Catherine seemed to realize that and had only been laughing at Priscilla’s eagerness.
“Well, it is certainly difficult to go over everything in one sitting, but I will give it my best try.” Sipping her tea, Catherine appeared thoughtful. “Last night was a good start, certainly. It might take some time for Joseph to fully accept your lead, though. Not because of anything you have done. He is fighting against himself and his own perceptions of how things ought to be, rather than how things actually are.”
That certainly aligned with what Priscilla had noticed as well.
“He seems to think there is something wrong with his wife taking him in hand,” she said. “It was not easy for me to make the mental leap, either. It was certainly not how I was raised to be, but… it felt very good. Both unnatural, yet entirely natural simultaneously, which sounds silly, but…”
“No, it sounds exactly right,” Catherine reassured her. “It certainly seemed natural to you, but, as you said, that was not how you were raised. So, both you and Joseph will be fighting for your instincts and against what you have been taught to do.”
“Is that what you had to do?” She felt as though she already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it, so she did not feel so alone. Though her friends would be supportive, she knew they would, they could not join her in this journey. They had already gone down their own paths, which were very different from the one she was stepping onto.
Though she did believe that Evie especially would know something about fighting against society’s expectations, in this, she would not have the same experience as Priscilla since it was her husband who had taken her in hand, not the other way around.
“It is. And I am here to help you every step along the way.” Catherine smiled. “Let us start with talking about your mindset. Would you like a biscuit?”
“Yes, please.” Priscilla picked one from the plate Catherine offered to her. It was likely to be a long afternoon, and she needed sustenance for the lessons ahead.
13
Joseph
Following his father into his study brought back all sorts of memories from Joseph’s childhood. It was hardly the first time, and he still vaguely felt the little bit of apprehension that he had gotten himself into trouble. Though he could not think of why… if his father was annoyed at the shouting, he would not have singled Joseph out. He would have scolded Evie and Josie as well.
Yet Joseph could not shake the feeling he had done something wrong.
Moving around his desk, not using his cane at all, the Marquess leaned it against the heavy wood and sat down in his chair. Behind the closed door, he was moving much more easily than he did when he was walking through the house, confirming Joseph’s suspicions.
Taking the seat across from his father, Joseph did his best not to fidget. He had sat in this chair many times, just like this, while his father explained the facts of life—and often the error of his ways—to him. Of course, there had been plenty of other conversations had in these exact same seats, but those were the ones standing out in his memories right now.
Since he had no idea what his father wanted to talk to him about, he sat down and waited. His father also sat and leaned back in his chair, meeting Joseph’s gaze thoughtfully, though he did not speak.
The silence stretched.
Not squirming in his seat was becoming more difficult. He could not say why he felt like a naughty schoolboy at this moment, only that he did.
Finally, just when he was about to cave and ask what his father wanted, his father broke the silence.
“Priscilla was at the Society of Sin last night.” It was not a question, but Joseph nodded anyway. “And you and Lady Cross have parted ways.”
That was not a question either.
“How did you know?”
The look his father gave him was almost scornful. It did not matter that he had handed over the reins of day-to-day business to Anthony and Evie, clearly he was still keeping his fingers in the spying game. Joseph could still remember how lowering it was every time his father revealed that he knew what Joseph had been up to all through his school years and even after he went to Oxford.
His father always knew.
“I could not help but overhear what you were saying to Evie and Josie, which is why I wanted to talk to you.”
Joseph winced. His father could not help but overhear because they’d been shouting at each other.
“I am sorry you had to hear that.” Though he did not understand why he’d been called away while Evie and Josie remained apart. Unless his father did not want to embarrass Joseph by giving him a dressing down in front of the ladies. After all, one did not raise one’s voice at ladies, even if they were family and particularly vexing family at that.
His father waved the apology away.
