Page 14 of Desire and Discipline
“They share everything with their wives. Their desires, their ambitions, and their nights at the Society. You… you have been keeping things from me.”
“And you have not from me?” While she might be correct, he was certainly not the only one who had been keeping secrets. “I had no idea you knew about the Society. You never mentioned wanting to explore any such… things. I did not know you were aware of… anything. You could have told me, just as much as I could have told you.”
Priscilla’s mouth opened. Closed. She blinked, then frowned fiercely at him.
“You are correct. I could have, and I should have. I apologize. I was afraid to bring it up when the others said you had been a member in the past, but you said nothing to me. I did not want to bring it up when I did not know how I felt about everything myself, especially when I was not sure I did not want to try it.” She might be frowning, her tone almost tart, but it was also clear she was sincere in her explanation.
Joseph suddenly felt even smaller than before. Rather than arguing with him, Priscilla had apologized immediately. The exact opposite of how he had responded. Though some men would take it as their due, he was aware of his own hypocrisy.
“I apologize as well,” he said in a low voice, no longer able to meet her gaze. “I did not share this part of my life with you, and I never intended to. I was afraid it would make you think less of me. I also apologize for my reaction to your presence and for making more assumptions on your behalf.”
“Good.” Lady Cross clapped her hands together, startling both of them. To Joseph’s surprise, she was smiling. “Now that we have gotten that out of the way, I believe we can begin.”
8
Priscilla
Joseph looked so contrite, Priscilla would have felt sorry for him if she did not still have some lingering anger. She knew he was correct in that most members of thetonwould have found his actions very respectful. In fact, they would thinkherdisrespectful for pushing herself into an arena where wives did not often go.
She was aware of the many marriages where the husband kept a mistress or a lover—and often the wife did as well. It was not only an accepted practice, it was encouraged. Now that she was a wife, she’d heard all sorts of conversations she had not before and was aware not all ladies enjoyed the marital bed the way she did. Privately, she thought that must be the fault of their husbands, but the ladies seemed perfectly happy sending their husbands to other women for pleasure.
Priscilla was not.
Neither were any of her friends.
She knew what most of thetonwould think, what her mother would think. Her motherwouldbe horrified at the idea of Priscilla doing anything so gauche as punishing her husband. Her mother’s idea of a proper wedding night discussion had been to tell her to lie back and think of England and it would be over quickly enough.
Joseph had made their wedding night, and every other night they shared a bed, glorious. She still felt lucky he was her husband. She still loved him. While she was hurt and frustrated, she was not unaware that most husbands of their station would not only have expected her to turn a blind eye, they would never have apologized for any of their actions.
He’d kept a secret. She understood the reasons for it, even if she did not like it.
“The most important part of engaging in this kind of play is communication,” Catherine said serenely, as if Joseph was not standing there, hangdog and unhappy. “Something you will both need to work on. If you are hiding your desires from each other, you will both be unhappy. Having an interest or desire for something does not mean your partner must indulge, but from what I have seen, partnerships work best when you are honest with each other about what you want. You may find yourselves even more compatible than you ever imagined.”
She raised her eyebrow as she looked back and forth between Priscilla and Joseph, and they both nodded their understanding, Priscilla meeting Catherine’s gaze while Joseph continued to stare at the floor.
“Now, Joseph, with the understanding that Priscilla does not think any less of you, do you agree that she will be your disciplinarian this evening?”
“Yes,” Joseph replied in a low voice, still not looking at either of them.
Apprehension and excitement flittered through Priscilla. She had the feeling this night would either make or break their marriage, and she was terrified it might be the latter… but if she walked out of the room now, she doubted she would ever find the courage to walk back in.
“Priscilla, are you able to let go of your anger in order to pay proper attention to Jospeh as you discipline him?” Catherine asked.
“Yes,” she answered firmly. The hard edge of her anger was long gone, and the rest was already dissipating. His sincere apology had even soothed some of her hurt.
“Good. Joseph, strip.” Catherine looked at Priscilla, who had startled at the order, as Joseph began to untie his cravat. “He does not strip all the way with me, just down to his small clothes. Most of the implements we use work best skin to skin, but Joseph has never been open to stripping fully with me. Instead, he strips down to his small clothes and, when needed, he will uncover his buttocks and only his buttocks.”
The reassurance was kindly meant and another relief to hear. Even though Joseph had been keeping secrets from her, it did sound as though he had done his best to be respectful of their marriage, far more so than many would have. From now on, though, she wanted more.
She would demand more.
The sense of power that rushed through her at the thought made her shiver.
She did not even mind Joseph stripping down almost bare in front of another woman. There was a flash of jealousy, but Catherine did not seem interested in him. She was studying Priscilla. And Joseph was not looking at Catherine. He was still hanging his head… though another jolt of jealousy hit her when she saw he was erect.
Was that because of Catherine?
Moving over beside Priscilla, Catherine murmured in her ear.
