Page 69 of Hardcore Vanilla
“What happened to me not being your type?” she asked. There was real concern on her face and she seemed just as serious and anxious as he was.
It suddenly occurred to him that she wasn’t waffling because she wanted to say no. She was waffling because she wanted to say yes – and she was afraid to. The only reason she’d be afraid would be of things turning out badly, which was why she was voicing all of her concerns instead of saying yes. Jake immediately felt a lot better and a lot more confident.
She was going to say yes, he just had to reassure her that he was worth taking the risk on.
“Well, none of the women I thought were my type have worked out,” he said, a smile starting to spread across his face. “Besides, the more time I spend with you, the more I like you and want to be with you. Why not give it a try?”
“Uh, because it could go horribly wrong and we’d still be part of the same group of friends.”
“The same thing could happen while being fuck buddies, especially if we start having feelings for each other. And I already have feelings for you and I think you already have feelings for me too,” he said matter-of-factly. “If we ended things right now, you don’t think that everything would be horrible and completely awkward for a while?”
Sharon’s tongue flicked out, licking her lips nervously as she stared at him. Her dark eyes were conflicted, but she was leaning slightly forward, and the expression on her face was wariness tinged with longing. He leaned forward too, lowering his voice. No one around them was listening, but it still felt like too private a moment to be louder.
“I like you, Sharon, a lot. Despite the fact that you’re not what I’ve always thought of as my type, or maybe because of that. I don’t want to stay stuck in limbo with you. If you want to go on some real dates, then we can do that, but I think we’ve both proved over the past few weeks that we do work in a real relationship. That’s what we’ve been doing, even if we haven’t called it that.”
He took a deep breath, still searching her face for a positive reaction, but feeling better with every word he spoke.
“I want to start calling it what it is.”
******
There weren’t many times in her life that Sharon felt like a coward, but this was one of them. It was made harder by the fact that Jake was being so straightforward, open, and honest. She liked to think that those words could describe her as well, and usually they could but…
If he were just an iota less earnest, she’d be avoiding answering… probably by making a really stupid joke.
He made some good points though. They basically were in a relationship. A relationship that she liked too. One where their lives meshed together really well.
The warm flutter in her chest really enjoyed hearing him say how much he liked her. This was… not what she’d expected. Yeah, she’d had a few thoughts that maybe there was something more developing between them than fuck buddies, that maybe Jake was starting to like her more than that, but there had also been a part of her which hadn’t really let herself it.
Yet here Jake was, saying he felt it too.
Wanted it too.
At the very least, she could be as brave as him about admitting it. She looked him straight in the eye and smiled ruefully.
“Our friends are going to give us hell. You know that, right?”
“Is that a yes?” he asked, sliding his hand across the table toward her. Sharon reached out and took it, his skin warm and comforting against hers.
She took a deep breath. “That’s a yes.”
They smiled at each other and – as much as Sharon hated to be cliché – it really did feel like the entire world stopped for just a moment. Her heart was pounding in her chest as Jake’s thumb swept across the side of her hand, their gazes locked, and it might be the most romantic moment of her life. Heat rose in her cheeks as she blushed, breaking their eye contact so she could pick up her fork, her appetite abruptly returning.
“So,” she said, clearing her throat a little awkwardly. Neither of them had relinquished hands, which meant Jake was eating with his left hand, but that wasn’t her fault. “Ah… how you doing?”
He laughed, as he was meant to, and Sharon felt herself relaxing again.
Surely, at some point, they had to stop having awkward moments, right? If not, at least they were getting used to them – and better at dealing with them.
“What do you want to do when we get back?” he asked cheerfully. “Do you have any plans?”
“No, I deliberately didn’t make any plans. I kind of figured I’d need some downtime after the weekend.” Catching his eye, she quirked her eyebrows at him, her head tilting to the side to indicate her crazy family.
Jake grinned at her. “Want to come over and have downtime with me?”
“Sure, sounds good.” It really did too. The last thing she needed was to go home alone where she’d just sit and overanalyze every moment from the weekend and likely start second guessing herself. Plus, if they went to his place then she didn’t risk ambush by bestie, because she was sure Kate was going to want an update. Sharon would give her one soon, but she’d rather spend the afternoon with Jake and see how that went first.
Now that they had a plan – and food growing cold in front of them – they quickly finished their brunch.
