Page 59 of Hardcore Vanilla
"No, no, I insist." The little smile on her face grew a little larger.
Taking a deep breath, Jake let it out with a sigh. "I'm sorry about last night. I lost my temper and said some things I shouldn't have - and some things that I might have been justified in saying, I said in a manner I shouldn't have. And I am incredibly sorry about calling you a bitch."
"I called you an asshole first," she said, shrugging and tipping her head slightly to the side as she looked up at him. "I'm sorry too. Being around my family... Well, I'm not the best version of myself, but I shouldn't have pulled you into it without talking to you first. And you're right. When I feel like you're judging me, I tend to go on the offensive. I don't know that I can change my knee jerk reaction, but I will try."
"I'll try to be more understanding," he said. "I don't know how your family is and I shouldn't make assumptions about how they'd react to what you do."
"I have tried in the past," she said, looking a little miserable. "The whole 'give an inch, they'll take a mile' thing? Yeah, that's my parents. The more I give in, the more they try to bulldoze me. It's better just to go in blazing and then it's clear where we all stand. Plus, I'd rather piss them off than have them piss me off. I'm sorry I did that to you, too."
Jake hesitated for a moment, but the question had been in the back of his brain since last night, and he had to ask. "Would you have done the same thing if I was a Dom? Like, if you knew you were going to be punished for it, would that have changed things?"
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Blinking in surprise, Sharon turned the question over in her mind as she studied his expression. She was trying to keep her focus on his face and not on his bare chest or the little drop of sweat that was currently sliding down it and how freaking hot he looked right now.
"I don't think so," she admitted. “I don’t deal well when I feel like someone is being judgmental about me and knowing I had a spanking coming, or any other kind of punishment, wouldn’t stop me from changing how I deal with my parents.”
"You would have thrown Brian under the bus too?"
There was something about Jake's expression and tone of voice that made it seem like he was insecure or something. Which was not how she'd meant to make him feel and she was a little horrified to realize that she'd done so.
She was also touched by his sincere, thorough apology. It seemed like both of them had really had a chance to think through where they'd gone wrong last night. She and Kate had been right. He was a good guy.
"Probably not, but only because he wouldn't have cared that I was making a scene," she said, feeling a little bad that it sounded like she was blaming Jake for her actions. "Not that that's an acceptable reason for me to have done that to you, and I realize that."
"So, it's not because he would have spanked you afterwards, or that you respect him more because he's a Dom?" Jake's expression was closed, almost nonchalant, as if he was trying to look like he didn't care about the answer.
Aw crap. That was so, so, so not how she'd ever meant to make him feel. She stepped forward, reaching up to put her hand on his chest. His skin was warm underneath her hand.
"Definitely not," she said firmly. "For starters, there's no way he would have spanked me afterward. We don't have that kind of relationship anymore."
He raised a dark eyebrow at her, something sparking in his blue eyes. "Dowe?"
"I don't know. Do we?" she asked, a little uncertainly. She wasn't really sure she wanted a relationship that involved punishment spankings... Although if it was going to happen, she preferred not to have to do a ton of negotiating first. That was what she struggled the most with in the lifestyle, and why she liked that Jake was take-charge without being a Dom in the traditional sense.
"I feel kind of weird about it, but if you wanted it... I could try." He didn't look entirely convinced, and Sharon ended up giggling.
His expression shifted, becoming more rueful. "Well that's not the reaction I was going for."
"Sorry, it's just... You obviously aren't really into it."
"I'm not saying I don't want to spank you sometimes, I do, but... in a fun way mostly," he said, shrugging uncomfortably. "I don't know about the whole lecture and punishment thing."
"Honestly, that's not really my thing either. I like things more spontaneous. That's why I have so much trouble with the Doms. They're too kinky for me in a lot of ways, and vanilla guys are too vanilla."
"So, you're what, Goldicocks and I'm just right?" Jake's eyes flashed with mirth and Sharon slapped her hand over her mouth as she practically screamed with laughter.
Holy fuck, that was the last thing she'd expected him to say. He chuckled as she got her giggles under control. "Um... sort of? You're like, vanilla ice cream with a little something extra to go with it. Like sprinkles. Or hot fudge. A root beer float."
"I can live with that," Jake said, stepping forward and placing his hands on her hips. Sharon's breath caught in her throat as her body flared to life in anticipation. "So... does that mean we can just jump straight to the make-up sex?"
Just as she was about to say yes, a bell chimed in the room, and she groaned, her head falling forward to rest on Jake's bare chest in disappointment.
"What was that?" he asked, and she didn't need to look up to know he was looking around, trying to figure out where the sound had come from.
"That's the warning bell for breakfast. We have half an hour to get ready."
"What happens if we don't come down for breakfast in half an hour?"
