Page 52 of Fun Together
I grab her phone to investigate his profile more. “I just want normal, run-of-the-mill sex. I feel like he would try to pour hot coffee on my body or something.”
She shrugs. “You know what, that’s fair. Food stuff isn’t for everyone.”
“Are you into that?” The closest I’ve ever come to anything like that was having sex on top of a pizza box once.
“No, but one time a guy did ask me if we could use local honey as lube.”
“Sounds . . . sticky.” I keep scrolling through Cameron’s page. There are a few similar videos that I don’t watch, along with quite a few mirror selfies and carefully crafted photos of coffee cups next to a journal that looks like it’s never been opened. “Wait, did it have to be local honey?”
“He seemed to be very specific about it.”
“Maybe he had bad allergies,” I say, and we both start laughing again. “Did you do it?”
“For a ticket to the worst yeast infection of all time? God, no.”
“See? This is the kind of thing I am severely unprepared for.”
“He won’t pour hot coffee on you. And doesn’t he get points for creativity?”
Creativity is one thing, but that video was maybe the most cringe thing I’ve ever seen. But maybe she’s right, though—someone like Cameron would be a low stakes start to my dating journey. “How would I even go about this?”
“First, follow him. Then, like a few of his posts. He’ll come to you. I promise.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I give it two minutes and he’ll have already followed you back and sent you a message saying something like, ‘Hey! How’s your day going?’”
I’m skeptical of this approach, but I find his profile on my phone and press “Follow.” Then, I like the video we just watched along with a photo of a crushed Sprite can on a sidewalk with the caption, “Find the beauty in the mundane.”
Sure enough, no sooner than I’ve placed the pizza order do I get a notification that he’s followed me, and I get a message from him that says, “Faye! What’s up?”
I show the message to Rett. “Guess I’ll never doubt you again.”
“Told you,” she says, clearly pleased with herself.
“What do I do now?”
“Say nothing.”
I toss my phone down and cover my face with my forearm. “I don’t want to play this game anymore.”
She gets up and picks up one of the drop cloths from the floor. “It’s all part of the mystery. You leave a guy on read and they go feral for you.”
“Maybe in your case.” Rett has always been a free-spirited kind of person, drawn to people who are a challenge. Men and women fall at her feet, but the people she likes are usually terrible. “I don’t want to be mysterious.”
“You’re the most mysterious person I know.”
I pick up the paint rollers and try to avoid smearing red paint on myself. “What are you talking about?”
“You don’t let anyone know anything about you. You float through the world like a mystifying little fairy.”
“Let me see your eyes. I think the paint fumes might have gotten to you.”
“I’m just saying, you need to use your mysterious ways to your advantage. Don’t respond to Cameron. If I’m wrong, I’ll help you put that dresser together.”
“Aren’t you supposed to tell me I should be more open to people, and that it’s okay to allow them to know me?”
“Sounds like you’re aware of that already.”
