Page 133 of Fun Together
We stop at bench, and he gestures for me to have a seat. “What do you mean you kept me from being happy?”
“Well, we were together for so long and so wrong for each other.”
He looks down the path, gathering his thoughts before he responds. “The reasons we didn’t work out aren’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”
“But I’m losing everyone now. I’m losing him. I lost you.”
“You haven’t lost me.” He holds his arms out to the side. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”
“He told me he loved me.” I take a shuddering breath. “He told me he loved me and all I said back was ‘I can’t.’’
“Do you love him?”
A fresh batch of sobs bubble to the surface. “Yes, I think I do.”
“You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel.”
“I’m scared.”
“This is your chance at happiness. Take it. You deserve to be loved. Don’t let fear keep you from experiencing that.” I can’t help the laugh that comes out after he says this.He shrugs and looks down bashfully. “Or something. Fuck if I know.”
“That was very poignant. Have you been reading self-help books?”
He smiles wryly. “Something like that.”
“You deserve that, too, you know.”
He nods. “Yeah, I know.”
We sit in companionable silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the sounds of birds and crickets. It’s good just to sit here with him, together, but lost in our own thoughts.
“What if he says he doesn’t want me anymore?”
“Trust me, that isn’t the case.”
“How do you know?”
“I happen to know where he is right now if you want to find that out for sure.”
I hug him, and his arms tighten around me, telling me that things may be different now, but we still have each other.
45
Eli
“Charity . . . is that a family name?”
The beagle looks up at me with droopy, sad eyes that seem to communicate that she didn’t choose her name, she didn’t choose to be here, and it’d be great if we could cut the chitchat and get this bath over with.
I slide the brush over her fur. “A dog of few words. I could learn a thing or two from you.”
She slumps down with a little grunt.
“I hear you got into a bit of a mess involving a scheming squirrel. That’s rough.”
Another glare.
Making sure the water is lukewarm, I run the nozzle over her fur. “Keeping an air of mystery. I like it.”
