Page 53 of Delayed Intention
She finishes up her boots and stands, looking me in the eye. “Absolutely.”
It is bright and quiet outside, with a good three feet of fresh snow on the ground. We trudge along the half-plowed street. The weather’s taking a break for now, but the snow is due to start up again later today. She follows me in silence, and while I hope no one’s in distress, I do hope we are busy today. I need a distraction. I think we both do. There is a line of patients outside the clinic when we arrive. Since no one looks critical, I don’t feel too guilty about my pleasure seeing them there.
We open the front doors, and I set up the exam rooms while Lily gets busy around the front of the office. Fortunately, the clinic uses an electronic medical record system Lily has worked with before, so we can be more efficient than I could be on my own. Lily and I take turns processing patients and building the schedule. She takes them to a room, and gets their vitals and history before signing each one over to me. I examine and treat them as we go. There is one can opener injury requiring sutures, but mostly, it’sURIsymptoms that only need symptomatic management. The clinic nebulizer gets some use, and we dispense several prescriptions for cough syrup with and without codeine. By the time we saw the tenth patient, I noticed there was no one else waiting.
This takes us to midday, and we sit down and eat some food after Lily brews a pot of coffee. We are eating in companionable silence until I’m the first to break it.
“Good idea bringing the sandwiches.”
“Thanks.”
“We make a pretty efficient team.”
“Josh?” She pauses, so I look at her. “Are you disappointed there aren’t more patients for us to see?” The moment the words are out of her mouth, she looks sorry she asked; at least I assume that is why she starts to blush, turning her cheeks a soft pink.
“I mean, I don’t mind keeping busy.”
“What I’m asking is if you’re afraid to be alone with me without a movie or patients to see.”
I huff out a laugh that I can tell sounds like bullshit. “Don’t be ridiculous.” Although, honestly, it’s like she read my mind.
“If you were writing me a letter about how you’re feeling right now or what you’re thinking, what would you say?”
Without stopping to think of the consequences, I answer honestly. “I would say you scare me a little and I would be more comfortable if we had an office full of patients.”
Then, proving she is still capable of surprising the hell out of me she starts laughing. Really, honest to God, fully belly-laughing at me, tears streaming down her face before she finally composes herself enough to croak out, “I knew it.”
“I’m so glad you find me amusing,” I try to look stern, but know I’m not managing.
She throws out her paper plate and gets up to fix herself a cup of coffee. “You know there is a simple solution to your nerves.” Her back is to me, so I can’t read her expression.
“Really?”
“Sure.” She turns and looks at me while blowing off the steam emanating from her mug, drawing my attention to her lips. She appears calm as she leans back on the counter behind her.
Making a decision that was likely made for me at the diner, if not before, I swallow. “And how’s that?”
She sets down her coffee cup and walks toward me.
“Lily.” I try for a warning tone, but even I can hear that my voice lacks conviction, just like the rest of me. My first wild thought is that she is going to straddle me right in this chair. That would eliminate any possibility of hiding my arousal from her.
So much for holding out for common sense. Instead, she takes my hand, pulling me up to stand. Also, hiding nothing, of course.
As if reading my mind Lily says, “I had considered straddling you right there on that chair, but I think I’d lose all control if I start with a move like that.” I am so shocked by how in tune we are, I stand there, just looking at her face. Her beautiful face.
“Lily, you need to promise me, you understand I am not the man you fall in love with. Tell me you hear me?” I am pleading, but somewhere inside, I’m fully aware her answer will not matter at this point. I do not know when it happened, but I am hooked. Everything about her is drawing me in.
Her eyes are golden brown in the light of the room, and she looks at me with so much trust I’m certain I don’t deserve. Her hair is braided into a low knot on the back of her head, with loose strands floating wildly around her face. Her straight nose, her glowing, blushing cheeks, and her full lips seem to be moving toward me in slow motion. Her figure is begging me to take hold of her.Damn. I do believe I’ve nearly lost the power to choose any path that doesn’t lead to kissing the hell out of her.
“Lily Anna, I need to hear you say it,” I croak out, pretending that there is more than one path before me.
“You do not do relationships. I hear you.” She’s standing so close but has not moved to touch me.
“As long as you hear me,” I’m drowning in her gaze.
“You called me Lily Anna again,” she whispers.
“This is going to be fucked, you know that?” Until now, I’ve managed to keep my hands to myself but feel pulled into her as if she were my complimentary magnet.
