Page 1 of Delayed Intention
Prologue
Lily, Lincoln, Nebraska, August 14, 2005
Maybe I’m drunk.
Can I be drunk from half a screwdriver?
Closing my right eye and narrowing my gaze on the yellowish drink, I clink the ice in the glass, looking for answers. I have no idea if it’s possible, but what is true is I don’t feel like myself, which is such a good idea right now. A laugh slips out of my mouth, which has to look crazy because I’m in the middle of a reception, having an open conversation with my beverage. Slapping a hand over my mouth, I look around, only to realize no one is noticing me.
Cool. It’s all good.
I take another sip. The taste is okay, but it’s the effect that is awesome. Tonight I was braver than I’ve ever been, walking right up to the bartender and asking for a drink. The only thing was, I wasn’t ready when he asked what I wanted, which led to a moment of panic, and I nearly ran away. Instead, I ordered this screwdriver, because I remembered it’s made with orange juice, which I like.
The relief this drink is giving me is so necessary. This year has been a piece of crap so far, and the alcohol feels like a magic potion that can heal my wounds.
Looking around the country club, I try to spot my best friend, but I can’t see anything. The room is dark except for the pulsing fluorescent DJ lights that shoot beams of smoky color across the faces of the dancers. There’s a loud hum of multiple voices talking at once. I feel dizzy watching people dancing in wild circles around the bride.
On the way over from the ceremony, I heard my brothers say that this country club we’re in is one that banned Jews from joining in the past. But here we are, bunches of us, dancing without care in this crusty old club. I don’t know if what my brothers said was true or not, but thanks to the effects of my screwdriver, the idea seems funny to me now. I giggle, thinking about it.
I love this place. Not the club so much as the town. Lincoln is one of my favorite places in the world because when I’m here, I don’t have to think about home or what goes on there.I have nothing to worry about right now.
I physically shake myself off.
Where’s Josh?
He’d gone to the bathroom and left me here to fend for myself. He’d said he would be right back…
Joshua Cohen.
Goosebumps break out on my arms as I think about how much he means to me. I mean, we’ve been best friends since we were born. But from the second I could recognize him as the total hottie he is, I’ve had the worst crush on him. Secretly, of course.
I scan the room for him again. There are so many people here that I don’t know. My aunt’s wedding is her second one, and you’d think it would be a small event, but nope, there are hundreds of people here. I usually feel more afraid around strangers, but I’m so happy not to be back home; it’s not bothering me the way it normally does. Besides, no one is paying any attention to me. I have no idea where my parents are, which is so great.Thisis my time. My time to have fun. To not think about… anything that hurts.
Josh materializes right in front of me, grinning when I yelp in surprise.
“What’s up, Lily?”
“Nothing.” I rattle the ice in my glass in front of his face.
He smirks at me. “Did you get juice?”
I shake my head. “A screwdriver,” I say with pride.
“No way,” I can tell he doesn’t believe me as he snatches my drink and takes a big gulp. Instantly, his eyes grow wide in surprise. I start laughing so hard I snort before I take the screwdriver back.
“Told you.” I take a sip, trying to hide my grimace at the taste.
His eyes are watering as he coughs before he starts to look serious. “Let’s get out of here—go back to my house?”
“Yeah, sure. Do you want us to bring anything?”
His smile wavers, and he seems as though he’s embarrassed—presumably for me.Stick with me, Josh; I can keep embarrassing myself all night.
“Um… No need to bring anything. But who isus?”
“Tamar and Joe and everyone,” I say, naming two of my siblings.
Josh gives me a strange look. “I mean, you can tell them, if you want, but I thought maybe we’d hang out?” He shrugs. “You know, just us?”
