Page 37 of Afternoon Delight
“Yeah, I can’t do it all today. Maybe if Dad’s neighbor can hang out with him for a few hours, I’ll come by one evening.”
“Let me know. Do I owe you anything?”
“Nah, it’s something to do.” He stuffed the rag into the back pocket of his jeans and closed the bottle. He tilted his head and slid his gaze to mine. “Are you gonna tell me what you’ve tried?”
“A vibrator. It was fine.” I folded my arms, defensive for some reason. “I kind of think you have to be into toys to enjoy them. It was time-efficient, but a little like what you said. Too much too fast. Like, where’s the foreplay? How about a kiss?” I moved to the vulva shelf. “I was thinking about trying this clitoris thing, though. It’s supposed to be like oral. People online seem to like it.”
“Hmph.” He picked up the box to read it.
“This is the penis version for simulated BJs.” I pointed.
“All right. Let’s see what it does.” He picked up the suction sleeve.
“You don’t have to buy it!”
“Oh, is this a library? Can I borrow it for a week and pay fifteen cents a day if I’m overdue returning it?”
“I mean, you don’t have to buy something just because I pointed to it.”
“We’re not going to have this conversation again, Meg. I have money. Shit tons. Wedding money that?—”
“You’re married?” I gasped.
“No.” He snort-scowled. “No. We were talking about getting married and had started saving for a wedding, but after I came home for Christmas, I decided to take a leave from work and move home to help Dad. Erica wanted to stay in Vancouver, so...” He shrugged and looked away, but I caught the flash of injury behind his eyes.
I remembered him mentioning his ex. I hadn’t been sure how recent that had been or how many exes ago.
“I’m sorry.” He was so funny and flirty, I had no idea he was fresh off a breakup. That made me kind of wistful. Whatever I had thought was going on between us suddenly seemed much less significant. Not that I had expected it to go anywhere anyway. It was just a good reminder that I shouldn’t read into this very casual friendship we’d formed. “You must have been together a while if you were thinking about marriage.”
“Three years. We moved in together early in our relationship because we both had such insane schedules. Erica’s a nurse. I work in tech. I thought we’d see more of each other if she moved here with me, but she likes the job she has. I don’t know.” He grimaced. “I kind of think we started talking about marriage because we thought it would make us feel more connected, but... I was hurt that she didn’t want to come with me, and I feel like I keep failing at basic partnership. But I’m not heartbroken, so maybe we weren’t likely to go the distance anyway.”
I could see how uncomfortable he was admitting that—how much he felt the breakup was a failure in himself.
“I don’t think breakups and divorce are failures per se. Relationships are complicated. They’re made up of smaller successes and failures, so how can you judge the whole thing as one or the other? Anyone who knew Joel and me would have called our marriage successful, but on the inside, I always put myself second to him, his career, and the kids. Our marriage was really only successful for him. For me, it was a disappointment. I’d characterize our divorce as successful, though. We’re civil. I told him Roddie wanted to stay here with me, and Joel’s annoyed that he’ll have to pay more support, but he isn’t taking me to court over it.”
Zak was listening attentively. “What happened to make you decide to call it quits?”
“He cheated. Again. So do we call it a successful relationship because we got through his infidelity when Roddie was a baby? Or was it a failure on my part that I didn’t leave when I had the excuse? I think we all do our best in the moment and figure out later whether it was a success or a learning point.”
He snorted. “Yeah, I’m living in learning points these days. They are so pointy. It’s like a bed of nails.” His voice was self-deprecating, but I heard the despair beneath it.
I wanted to hug him.
“I need distraction, Meg.” He deliberately injected a lighter note into his voice. “Ring me up a simulated blowjob, would you?” He pulled his wallet from his back pocket. “And get yourself something nice, sweetheart. Throw in that clit thing.” He gave a magnanimous nod toward it.
“On the understanding that I have to tell you if I like it?”
“Not if you don’t want to.” He looked pretty heartbroken at the idea that I wouldn’t, though.
“For Georgia, I will let you buy me this toy.” I took his credit card and rang it through.
“Awesome. I’ve always wanted to make two women happy at once.” He took back his card. “Check that off the bucket list.”
“Joel always had that fantasy, too. Except he wanted twins. I never saw the appeal, but...” I tilted my head and let my gaze wander across Zak’s shoulders and chest.
“I know where you’re going, and I’m going to stop you right there.” He gave me a very stern look as he pushed his wallet back into his pocket.
“But you must have had offers.” I blinked, feigning innocence. “Zara is very?—”
