Page 107 of Afternoon Delight
“I didn’t mean to spring this on you,” I said to Zak.
“I kind of think you did.”
He walked into the hall to glance at the stacked washer and dryer, then peered into the powder room opposite.
I followed him back into the primary suite, which could easily accommodate a king-size bed and a small desk.
“What are you thinking?” I asked warily.
“Is this an investment?”
“No. I’m selling my condo in Toronto. Roddie wants to live with me here. Oh my God, I have the funniest story about Joel?—”
“Fuck Joel. I don’t care about him. Are you being serious, Meg? You’re moving here?”
My mouth opened, but my voice got caught behind my breastbone.
“Yes?”
I couldn’t tell if he thought this was good news or bad. He had just told me he loved me, but he seemed angry.
“I don’t want you to feel pressured, though,” I rushed to say. “I’m doing this for me. I mean, I hope you want us to keep seeing each other.”
I had my arms clenched across each other, hugging myself.
“I love you, Zak. A lot. The whole time I’ve been thinking about this move, I’ve been thinking I should be able to live without you, but I don’t want— Oh.”
He had his arms wrapped around me before I realized he’d moved. I had to wiggle to get mine up around his neck. I expected him to kiss me, but instead, he picked me up so we were eye to eye.
“Yes,” he said, in such a strong, steady tone it made my heart quiver. “Whatever this is, I’m in.”
“But what if...” I petted his beard and searched his eyes.
He waited patiently.
“What if you want babies?” I asked in a whisper.
“What if you can’t take how bad it gets with Dad?” He let me slide down his body until my feet met the floor, then kept his arms around me. “You know it could be hereditary, right?”
“I know there are going to be hard times.” I shifted my arms to hug his waist. “I’d rather be with you through them than not.”
His arms tightened around me. “I’ve thought a lot about kids since we talked. And yeah, if I had some, I’d love ’em to death, but I don’t want them badly enough to give you up just so I could make them with someone else.”
“Really?” I pressed my face against his chest, eyes closed and stinging with emotion.
“Really,” he assured me. “And honestly, I love my sister’s kids, but they’re exhausting. Also, she needs me to help her where I can. That means I need you to be the independent badass that you are, Meg. I couldn’t add the life of a goldfish to my plate of responsibility right now. I love the idea of skipping making our own kids and pressuring Shelby and Roddie into making babies so we can be sexy grandparents.”
“Not just grandparents. The sexy kind.” I tilted my head back.
“Very sexy. Why not?”
My eyes were filling up, which was making me laugh at myself—at us—but I was shaking, I was so happy. “I do love you, you know.”
“I had a feeling.”
“So smug.” I went up on tiptoe to kiss the whiskers on his chin. “I guess if it doesn’t work out, we’ll always have the Dogwood.”
“That was a really great afternoon,” he said throatily and nudged me out of his arms. “Go sign whatever you need to sign. Then let’s go do that again.”
