Page 104 of Afternoon Delight
“We’re not. We were definitely trying not.” She blinked fast to hold back her tears. “He kept promising me he’d get a vasectomy.”
There were too many words in my mouth to find any good ones. All I could think was that Zara was the one who was leaving. Not really. Not on purpose. But how the hell would she manage another baby on top of everything else she was juggling?
“I really need you here, Zak,” she said with a sniff.
“I know. You don’t have to keep saying it.” Meg was coming to town, and I couldn’t wait to see her, but she was starting to feel farther away than ever. I ached with missing her and lived for our texts and chats, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted more.
I was starting to see I couldn’t have more, though. There was no room for her in my life.
“I like Meg. I really do. But she makes me feel so freaking threatened.” Zara took the roast out of the oven. “Just knowing she’s coming back makes me happy for you. You’ve barely smiled since she’s been gone, but I’m also terrified she’ll talk you into leaving with her.”
“She won’t.” That’s why I loved her. She understood what I was up against. And yes, I had fantasies of running away with Meg every damned day, usually to a hotel room where we did dirty things to each other. I knew where I needed to be. I’d accepted it. And being here wasn’t just about Dad.
“Zara, listen to me. Remember that time I came home for spring break and you said I needed to start looking after myself because I looked like death and you were worried about me?”
“Hey,” she said with a frown of hurt.
“You look fine,” I amended, even though she had dark circles under her eyes and her hair could use a wash. “But you sound like I sounded then.” Completely overwhelmed. “Quit worrying about me and Dad, okay? I’m here. I’m doing it. And I’m going to ask Meg what she can do to help you with the audit. Don’t argue.” I lowered Ollie to the floor and pinned him with my socked foot. “You need a breather. See a doctor and make sure there’s nothing else going on, because I need you here. We all do. So start looking after yourself. Okay? Promise?”
Her mouth trembled. She looked like she wanted to push back, then she flickered her gaze out the window.
“There’s Kyle with Jade. She’ll be hungry. I’ll get Dad to the table.”
I took Ollie to wash his hands, but my heart twisted with guilt that I’d asked Zara for Wednesday when she was so close to snapping.
I didn’t want to cancel on Meg, but I had to.
Chapter 57
Meg
Zak told me he couldn’t get away until Saturday, when Dale was in his respite group.
Our conversation had been awkward. He said Zara was struggling and asked me for advice on helping with her audit. I could tell he was reluctant to ask, though. I sensed a withdrawal of sorts. It was subtle, but it was there and it scared me. It hurt.
I almost told him I was planning to move there, but I had second thoughts. Was I, yet again, trying to rush in and fix things for other people? Was I trying to be needed to prove to myself that I was lovable? Did I want the reassurance of knowing he wanted me before I made such a big move?
I did want to be a support for him, though. That’s what love was. And, in the end, I channeled my inner Georgia. If Victoria didn’t work out, I would move somewhere else. It was okay to try something and change my mind later.
I flew with Mom on Tuesday. Roddie had gone on Joel’s honeymoon with him. He and Wanda were visiting an all-inclusive in Aruba with Joel’s brother, his wife, and all the kids. School was finished for the year and Roddie would have fun with his cousins. I had no qualms about him leaving the country with his father.
Having said that, my mommy radar went on high alert when Joel called me as I was putting on my shoes to meet the real estate agent on Wednesday.
“What’s wrong? Is Roddie okay?” I asked Joel.
“Totally fine,” he said briskly. “But he told me you’re taking him to Victoria?”
“I’m not taking him. I’m moving here?—”
“You’re there now? With that guy?”
“His name is Zak, and he’s not here, but what if he was?” Did he remember the wedding last week when he married someone else?
“You’re not taking our son across the fucking country.”
“It’s his choice, Joel. He wants to try it, and if he doesn’t like it, he’ll come live with you. It’s right there in our custody agreement that Roddie is old enough to decide who he lives with. But go ahead and run up the lawyer fees if it makes you feel better.”
Joel hissed out an impatient breath. “Wanda is taking it personally that he doesn’t want to live with us.”
