Page 51 of A Queen's Game
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I can’t do this.”
The deep, rolling laugh made her chest tighten. “Do what?”
“This.” Elyse gestured in the space between them.
“What is it we’re doing? Walking? Talking? Learning more about each other?” His smile remained as he spoke. “I know you’re an anxious person. Your father warned me, for a lack of a better word.”
“Gods, of course, he did.” She shut her eyes, unable to look at him.
“Elyse, it’s alright. Just take a deep breath and talk to me,” he murmured. “I know you were having a bad day before Lydia, so let’s start before that fool opened her mouth.”
Elyse’s eyes popped open. “Fool? Nothing she said was wrong.”
“I don’t care what she said. I really don’t. What I care about is why it bothered you so much.” His hand stroked her shoulder as he spoke.
She looked at him, exasperated. “What do you mean, why? Have you seen me? I look like a mess and like a whore. I—”
Brynden held up his hand to stop her. “First of all, I was honest when I said you looked beautiful. You took my breath away when you stepped out of your room. Second, why would you even say that last part?” Confusion tinged with anger laced his voice.
“Because that’s what you think I am, right?”
“Elyse, what are you talking about?”
She ran her hand over her hair, looking anywhere but at Brynden. “At the ball, the kiss and wanting to go somewhere private.”
“Hey, look at me,” he whispered, drawing her attention back to his face. His hand reached up to brush away a loose strand.“I’m so sorry I kissed you, and I’m sorry that I tried to take you somewhere private. I should’ve realized how much the alcohol affected you. If I had realized it would cause you this much distress, I would have never done it.”
Her breath caught in her chest. “But I wanted you to kiss me—I can’t stop thinking about it! And that’s part of why I probably amthat.” She couldn’t bring herself to say the word once more.
“I’ve done a whole lot more with people I knew a whole lot less, and I wouldn’t ever think to call themthat. As I said that night, I expect nothing of you.” That damn crooked smile returned as he added, “Was that your first kiss?”
“I—no. Well, that I didn’t regret, yes. But technically no.” Gods, how did they get to that topic?
“You’re saying Keyain was to marry you for five years—” he held out his hand for dramatic effect “—and he never once kissed you like that?”
She shook her head no.
“And I’m guessing you never shared a bed with him?”
“Gods, Brynden, no.” She shielded her face in her hands.
“Well, I’m trying to figure out how he was your betrothed for that long and didn’t even kiss you as you deserve,” he said, his brows furrowed. “I couldn’t be around you for one evening without kissing you.” A moment passed before he added, “Five years. Really?”
“Please, can we change the subject,” she pleaded, trying to stand.
Brynden’s arm stopped her. “You still haven’t told me all of why you were having a bad day.”
As much as she didn’t want to talk about it, she supposed she owed him an explanation. “I got little sleep last night, and then I woke up late. I’m so sorry for making you wait like that.”
“You will always be worth the wait,” he murmured. For a moment, Elyse thought he meant it. “Why were you up late?Thinking about how I kissed you?” Brynden smirked as he leaned in.
She would regret telling him about that. “I was being dramatic when I said I can’t stop thinking about it. I can, in fact, stop,” she lied, knowing that it was constantly buzzing in the back of her mind.
“Are you sure? You weren’t thinking about it when you were alone in your bed? Late at night? Wishing you weren’t so alone?” he teased.
“Oh, my gods.” Heat crept over Elyse’s cheeks.
“So if it wasn’t the thought of my mouth, and what I’m assuming is the rest of me,” he said with the flick of his brow, “then what robbed you of your sleep?”
