Page 11 of (My Accidental) Killer Summer
ELLE: Person, animal, or vegetable?
SANDY: A *decapitated* head!
JEN: I don’t think vegetables have heads.
AMY: Unless its . !!
MOLLY: Lettuce has a head.
JEN: Obviously human, otherwise they’d say “body.”
MOLLY: Cabbage has a head.
SANDY: In a freezer!
AMY: Someone FOUND it or STORED it?
SANDY: Found.
ELLE: …A REAL head?
SANDY: Yes! A real head, people. Hair and all.
MOLLY: I once found a dead bird in my freezer.
JEN: Not the same, but equally disturbing.
MOLLY: Emotionally scarring.
JEN: So are your Pinterest recipes.
MOLLY: I’m not above blocking a bitch, Jen.
JEN: Please do! I’d get so much more done.
SANDY: Just once, I’d like to stay on topic.
ELLE: You’re the one who named the group MAMA DRAMA.
AMY: And I’m not even a mom!
ELLE: You are to my kids.
JEN: Plus you run a house full of nieces and nephews. Totally counts.
AMY: Aw, thanks guys.
JEN: Think your sister will ever move out though?
AMY: Nope.
MOLLY: Back to the freezer—why wouldn’t someone just buy a new one? I wouldn’t be able to look at Eggo waffles again.
JEN: Imagine reaching in for waffles and coming out with someone’s head.
MOLLY: Elle lives closest. See anything suspicious? Someone buying large amounts of plastic wrap?
ELLE: Nothing, sorry.
