Page 102 of Love Resurrected
“Can we talk?” I ask, her back to me.
She turns.
“Brad? What are you still doing here?”
“Waiting for you.”
“Why?” She looks skeptical. Can’t say I blame her given how wishy-washy I’ve been.
“Well, first, I wanted to apologize for leaving this morning.”
She shrugs.
“No really. It wasn’t a nice thing to do, and I’m sorry.”
“It’s better than throwing up after.” She attempts a joke, but neither of us laugh.
“I’m sorry. It was rude.”
The elevator doors close and I wait to see what she’ll do. She stands there watching me.
“Can we go somewhere? Or go sit down, at least?” I ask.
She nods towards a grouping of chairs and we head over there. I take the seat next to her and try to plan my thoughts. It was so much easier to know what I was thinking and feeling when I was alone with Kat or talking to Ethan. But now, here in front of Tenley, I get tongue-tied.
I take a deep breath. “Losing Kat has not been easy for me.”
“I know,” she says, her voice sympathetic.
“I promised her I would move on and continue to live my life—”
“Look, Brad, I know it’s been hard on you. And, I’m sorry, but I’m just not interested in being your practice date or practice fuck, or whatever you want to call it.”
“That’s not what I’m asking. Or saying. Just—” I run my good hand through my hair then hold it up toward her. “Just let me get out what I have to say first. Please?”
She cocks her head and raises one shoulder in a half shrug, then gestures with her hand for me to continue.
“I talked to Kat today.”
She looks at me, brows raised, and I realize how that sounds.
“I went to her burial site and . . . well, I talked to her there. But in all fairness, I also sometimes talk to her randomly, when I’m in my car, or at work, or at home . . .” I trail off, hoping I don’t sound crazy.
“I get it,” she says after a minute.
I nod, feeling slightly relieved. “I told her about you. And about Nessa. About what’s happened between us and everything that’s gone on over the last couple weeks. It was good, positive, you know?”
A hint of a smile graces her face, so I continue, “And that it’s made me want to try and see if I can move on. It’s time. And I think I need to, or else I’m just going to continue to spiral in this vortex of negativity and sadness, slowly pushing everyone in my life away from me until I’m alone. Continuing to sabotage my career, my finances, hell, my life.”
“That sounds like real progress,” she says. “I’m proud of you.” She gives me a double pat on the knee. The way she does it, it wouldn’t surprise me if she stood up and said, ‘Okay, good talk,’ and left.
I’m not sure what to say to that. Do I thank her? Or keep talking?
“Was that it?” she asks.
“What? No. No. Well, yes. But also, no.”
She looks at me expectantly.
