Page 52 of Love Resurrected
I drink my beer while I wait for him to continue.
“I had to stop. In all of those instances, I had to stop and look at Cathy, pull myself back to the present and remember, literally remind myself, who I was with. She’s tried to be understanding and supportive, but I know it’s difficult for her. It would be for anyone. Not like it was a picnic for me either. But I like Cathy. A lot. And I want to try to make this work. So, I push forward.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah,” he agrees. “But, again, I promised Maureen I would. For me and for my girls.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah.”
We change the subject after that, which I’m part grateful for and part resentful of. I want Andy to share the secret with me. The magic formula that will allow me to move on. Allow me to learn to love again without the constant reminder of what I’ve lost.
Instead, we discuss the baseball playoffs and which teams will make it to the big game.
17
Tenley
By the time I’ve changed my clothes and fixed my hair and makeup, I’m a little more excited for this date with Neil than I was earlier. He’s a nice guy, good-looking, well-built, and there’s nothing wrong with a little male attention. I go for a more casual look tonight than I did last night. Distressed, slim-fitting boyfriend jeans, a loose, black, off-the-shoulder blouse, and a pair of black ankle boots. I leave my hair down in loose curls, and the overall look is sexy without being blatant.
If I’m honest with myself, there’s a teeny-tiny part of me that wishes I was seeing Brad tonight. I just . . . I don’t know. I hadfunwith him this morning, which was unexpected and nice. I want to figure out how he ticks. The mood swings aside, there is a true dichotomy going on with that man’s psyche that I want to decipher. He can be so wonderfully warm and charming, and then an unfeeling blank slate at the blink of an eye. It’s a little fascinating to me.
My doorbell rings at six o’clock sharp. Neil is lucky I’m ready since I never really agreed to six o’clock. I open it to a beaming Neil who presents me with a large bunch of flowers.
“Something beautiful for someone beautiful,” he says, leaning in and kissing me lightly on the lips.
“That’s sweet, Neil. Thank you!”
“You’re welcome.” He steps inside, as I try to step out. “Wow, this place is incredible.” He walks through the entryway into the main room, which are the kitchen, dining, and living rooms combined. I’ve always loved the concept of a great room, so that was my secondary reason for this house. I won’t have to knock down any walls when I renovate. Not that I would literally knock them down, but I’ve had to do it before and it’s just such a hassle to live inthatkind of construction zone with the dust and debris. I swear it takes a year to get rid of all the dust.
“Thanks.” I trail after him. “I couldn’t pass up the location. There’s still a bunch of renovating I want to do, but I’m taking my time.”
He turns and pulls me into his arms. “We could have some killer parties here.”
“We could, huh?”
“Hell, yes.” He leans in captures my lips with his. The kiss turns heated quickly. Neil is a good kisser, and he knows it. His hand snakes down from my waist to cup my ass, and I feel his hardening length against my stomach. His other hand moves up my blouse to fondle my breast.
“Okay, let’s slow down.” I pull my lips from his and push against his chest. I’m not opposed to sex on the first or second date. I’m not even opposed to sex with no date. But I’m not ready to have sex with Neil. I just can’t put my finger on why.
“I don’t want to slow down,” he says, moving toward me.
My stomach growls, loudly, saving me from further protest.
“I’m kinda hungry,” I tell him. “Save that thought for after dinner.” I smile flirtatiously to get him to stop.
It works.
“You’re the boss. Let’s go.” He takes my hand and leads me out to his car, which is a slick sporty-looking red car that sits low to the ground.
The tires on Neil’s car squeal as we hit each corner, and they aren’t tight corners.
I place my hand on his forearm. “It’s a residential area.”
He looks at me, eyebrow raised. “And?”
“Slow down, speed racer.”
