Page 38 of How to Ruin Your Ex's Wedding
“That fucking hurt!” I grab a lens cloth from my pocket and hold it against the stinging skin.
“I knew you were low, Pax. But this is beyond. How could you do this? I can’t believe it.” Her voice grows increasingly shrill.
“If you could keep your voice down below dog whistle decibels, that’d be great.” I stick a finger in my ear for emphasis.
“I will not keep my voice down. In fact, I’m going to get Hunter out here right now.”
“Do you really think that’s the best idea, Tabs?”
“Quit calling me that!”
“Think about it, babe. How’s it going to look that you hired your ex to be yourweddingphotographer without telling the new sucker?”
She pauses and takes a deep breath through her nose, letting it out slowly through her mouth. “Ididn’t hire you, Liza did. And I’m sure once I explain the situation, she’ll understand.”
“Uh-huh. Yeah. I’m sure she will.” I keep my tone purposefully skeptical. I’m stalling. I haven’t quite come up with why she should keep me on, and not tell the others, but I’m hoping to soon. I don’t want to get fired. That much I know. The reasons why are what I’m not willing to examine too closely.
“You did this on purpose, you deliberately tricked us into hiring you.” She jabs me in the chest with her finger, the nail biting into my skin through my t-shirt.
Fuck, that hurts too.
Stop being a fucking pussy, Pax.
And it occurs to me.
“Come on, Tabs. You don’t really think they’re going to believe you didn’t know I had an alias?”
“Of course I do.”
“Matthew Hanhauser has been around for quite a while.”
“That doesn’t mean I knew about him.”
“Are you sure about that? We’ve known one another for how long now? I’m pretty sure I told you early on in our marriage that I had a false name that I worked under. I mean, you had to have recognized it when you heard it.”
“Why would I?” She narrows her eyes.
“It’s my middle name and my mother’s maiden name. Pretty easy. And, of course my wife would have known both of those things.”
Her face pales. “I didn’t—”
“I’m sure you didn’t.” My voice drips sarcasm. “And I’m sure they’ll believe you too.”
I see it on her face, the moment she realizes she’s going to have to go through with this. She closes her eyes and drops her head.
I win!
“What do you get out of this, Pax?” she asks after a moment, looking up at me.
“What do I get? Are you kidding? This is the best. For one, your next Mr. Sucker over there is going to pay me a fuck-ton of money.”
She rolls her eyes.
“Two, I’ve always enjoyed wedding photography.”
“You’ve never liked it,” she says.
She’s right. I decide to give her that one.
