Page 120 of Love Unavoidable
“That’s just it, the ER doc was fine treating her while it was a true emergency, but it’s not anymore. Which leaves us with her general practitioner; but he doesn’t want to take responsibility for it and thinks she should see the plastic surgeon to clean up this mess. And the plastic surgeon isn’t returning our calls. So we are just flailing.”
“Well, shit.”
“Yeah. I have the nurse that comes every day, thank god, but she mostly just drains the fluids and changes the bandages. Mama sleeps a lot and is real needy.”
“Hmmm. So, I have to ask . . .” She pauses for a moment. “Does she look thinner?”
I laugh at that. “No, that’s the worst. She’s so bloated and bruised, she just looks terrible. And I’m pretty sure her tummy is going to be lopsided after this.”
“That sucks.”
“I know.” I laugh again, then look to make sure I shut my bedroom door. The last thing I need is my mama to hear me making fun of her over the phone. “Anyway, I will need to be here for a while longer. I can’t leave her when she’s like this.”
“Okay, I get that. But what about after that? Why can’t you come back?”
“It’s complicated.”
“No, it’s not. Come back.”
“I just . . . it will never work with Ethan and me.”
“That can’t be the only reason to come back.”
“Maybe not, but it’s a huge one for sure.”
“Why won’t it work with Ethan?”
“Because, relationships aren’t like how he and I are.”
“Meaning?”
“Where you get along, and the sex is great, and you like each other.”
“Really?”
“I know, I know. You and your friends all have these perfect relationships and blah blah, but it’s not normal, and it’s not sustainable.”
“Our relationships aren’t perfect. Far from it.”
“Oh what, does Brad leave his underwear on the floor?” I scoff.
“No. Well, yes, and it bugs the shit out of me. But no, that’s not what I’m talking about. Relationships take work. All relationships. There are good days and bad days. And you always, always have to work at it—both of you. Each person has to wake up every day and decide to commit to that relationship and make it the best it can be and then stand behind their decision. You both have to compromise and be flexible and do things you may not want to. But it’s in the interest of being one half of a whole. And then, Sadie, when you do all those things, you get to reap the benefits of a healthy, evolving relationship.”
“I know, but—”
“No buts, lady. There are good relationships. You have to recognize and accept them. Believe me, I fought it with Brad forever. And I know that when I die, when this fucking cancer finally kills me and I leave him alone, it will destroy him. And the thought of that nearly destroys me now.”
Tears well in my eyes. But she keeps on talking.
“But instead of dwelling on that, I think about how I can make the best of today, while I’m still here. And create these amazing memories for him to have and better prepare him to know how to recognize a healthy love for when he moves on without me.”
I grab a tissue to wipe at my eyes and blow my nose.
“Are you crying, Sadie? You know I’m going to die, right? I have metastatic breast cancer. There is no cure.”
“I know, but do we have to talk about it?”
“Yes. We do.”
