Page 88 of Love Unavoidable
“I don’t know, I mean, isn’t everybody?”
“No.”
“Oh.” I pause. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“And you aren’t just talking about you and Lexie and Remi? Because the three of you are like freaks of fucking confidence nature.”
“No.” She shakes her head, her eyes soften, and there isn’t a hint of mirth on her face.
“Oh.”
She reaches over the table and grabs my hand. “Look, if you aren’t going to believe in yourself for you, then do it because I think you are amazing. And because my friend Ethan is crazy about you. You say he’s incredible, so why would someone like that want you if you weren’t pretty fucking special too.”
She lets go of my hand and leans back in her stool, her face lighting up. “Hey, remember Stuart Smalley fromSaturday Night Live?”
“Uh, maybe?” I reply.
“His skit always included daily affirmations in the mirror, sayingI’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”
“Yeah, but it was a skit, you just said so yourself.”
“That doesn’t make the words any less true.”
I narrow my eyes and wrinkle my brow, not quite believing what she’s saying.
“Okay, if that doesn’t work for you, what about the saying from that book?You is smart, you is kind, you is important.” She raises her hands with flourish and smiles big.
“That’s definitely the margaritas talking,” I say.
“Look, I don’t care what words you use, but you have to do something to change your mindset.”
“What are you? Fucking Tony Robbins?”
She giggles. “It works.” She gestures to the rest of the bar. “Ask anyone.”
“I thought you were a realist?”
“Tonight, I’m an optimist. My therapist would be so fucking proud.”
This time I giggle. “Fair enough. You win. I’m good enough and smart enough and people like me.”
“Not bad. How do you feel?”
“Good? Fine?”
“Great! Let’s get some nachos and another round and then you can tell me any other problems you have, and I will solve them.”
* * *
We end up calling Brad for a ride about two hours later. And by ten thirty, I’m home and in bed. I teach my first dance class tomorrow at the place Charlie set me up with. It’s a group of co-workers, for team-building or something. So, I need to get to sleep. Instead, all I can think about is Ethan. What he must have thought when he found me stuck in the window.
Humiliation, party of one, please.
