Page 57 of Love Unavoidable
Chapter 15
sadie
I feel a bit uncomfortable going to this baby shower for Remi and Chance, where all of Ethan’s friends will be since I barely know them, and he and I aren’t on speaking terms. Unless you count last night at the restaurant. Which I don’t.
In fact, I half expected him to come in to my room when he got home to say something about the wine bill. But he didn’t. I heard him come in the house, check all the doors and windows, and then went straight to his room. I didn’t hear a peep from his end of the house again.
When I got up this morning, he was gone. And he wasn’t back from where he went by the time I left to come help Kat set up for the shower. Which is ending up being a lot more work than she let on when she asked. It’s a coed shower held at Kat’s house, with three different themes: circus, baseball, andThree Little Pigs. Apparently, Kat, Remi, and Chance could not agree on one theme, so they went with all of them.
But what is funny is that each of them has a great idea for a theme and solid justifications for why. Kat chose a circus theme. Because she says after they have three kids, their lives will be a three-ring circus. I thought that was funny.
Chance and his entire family (outside of Remi) love baseball. His brother-in-law used to play professionally. And since two of the triplets are boys, he is convinced they will grow up to play pro ball. So he wants a baseball theme. He says the third triplet, a girl, will want to please her brothers and her daddy so she’ll be fine with it.
Remi feels like all three of the babies are pigs who are sucking away her life force and she wants them gone from her body. So, the inspiration behind theThree Little Pigsmay not be as cute an idea as the others, but no one needs to know her rationale outside of those close to her. And the decorations are adorable.
How Kat explained it they will have a different theme in three places. The front yard will be the baseball theme. Inside the house will be theThree Little Pigs. And the back patio/balcony will be the three-ring circus.
She hired a party planner to help with the logistics, but we still have a lot of work to do ourselves. Especially since each theme has its own menu and own games. It’s three separate showers in one.
As far as I know, Ethan is grilling hot dogs for the baseball themed portion of the party, so if I skip that one, I won’t even have to see him.
Apparently, Remi and Chance insisted on helping with the setup, since they are both here. They are the most adorable couple I think I’ve ever seen. A perfect balance of adoration for and frustration with one another. They bicker, they kiss, he worships the ground she walks on and she would do anything for him since she’s about to push out three babies.
And did I mention how attractive they are?
I am in the kitchen transferring dips to theme coordinated dishes and I can hear them in the living room discussing something, maybe decorations.
“I just don’t think it’s that impressive, that’s all,” Remi says.
“I’ll show you something impressive,” Chance says in one of those overly exaggerated lecherous kinds of voices.
“Is it your penis?” Remi sighs. Something tells me she’s heard this one before.
“Maybe. What if it was?”
“Is it hard?” Remi asks.
I can hear Chance rustling around with something, and then the distinctive sound of a zipper being pulled. “No.”
“Then, I have to tell you, hot stuff, it’s just not THAT impressive then.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, that when it’s flaccid—”
“Oh god, beautiful. Don’t say that word. You know I hate that word. I’m not listening. La la la la la la,” he says. I can envision him putting his hands over his ears to make sure he can’t hear her.
When he quiets, she says, “It’s just cute otherwise.”
“Cute?” he yells. “Did you call my penis cute?”
“I believe I did,” she says. I can hear footsteps and I have a feeling she is coming into the kitchen. I try to hide my smile regarding their conversation and am successful until Chance yells, “I’m a grower, not a shower, woman. You know that!”
Then I have to laugh. Remi walks in and leans on the counter, grabbing a carrot stick and dipping it in a sauce.
“That’s my husband for you,” she says laughing. “God, it still feels so weird to say that.”
“What? Husband?” I ask.
