Page 123 of Love Unavoidable
Chapter 34
Ethan
I lie in my bunk at the fire station, fighting my emotions, sleep escaping me once again. My thoughts turn to Sadie, just like they have every night for the last two weeks since she’s been gone. To say that I miss her would be an understatement. I crave her. Her laugh, her smell, her touch.
We’ve talked some, but not enough to appease me. I text her. A lot. Little things during my day I think she would like to hear about, random stuff I notice, the fact that I miss her like crazy. She responds to about thirty percent of my texts. And her answers are always short. Most often one to two-word answers, or worse an emoticon. I try to understand. I mean, if her mom is in the hospital and still sick, Sadie is bound to be busy. As the only daughter, I’m sure much of the burden falls on her to play caretaker.
I don’t like being in limbo. I need to know where we stand, when she’s coming home, if we can have a real conversation, and how long until she’s in my arms again. I don’t think it’s too much to ask. If only I could keep her engaged long enough to ask. I roll over and punch my pillow a few times, trying to get it either flatten or fluff up, I’m not sure which. But whatever it’s doing now doesn’t work for me.
“How long you going to toss and turn, brother?” Brad whispers from the bunk above me.
“Sorry. I’ll get up,” I whisper back.
I don’t want to burden my friends with my tales of woe. And I certainly don’t want anything that I’m doing to keep them awake at night. I ease out of my bunk and head out to the common area. Brad follows me.
“You wanna talk about it?” he asks.
“Pfft. No. Same old shit. Chalk it up to me being a pussy and leave it at that.” I sigh.
“Hell, man, that sure as shit ain’t true. If being in love makes you a pussy, then half the guys here at the station fall under the same category as you. Myself included.”
I know that he’s trying to make me feel better. And, of course, it’s working because Brad is some kind of wunderkind in that regard.
“I just . . . I don’t know. I mean, she’s not talking to me. I don’t know what’s going on. Half her stuff is still at my house. What am I supposed to think?”
He shrugs his shoulders in return. “Maybe that she’s taking care of her mom and she will pay attention to you as soon as her mom is on the mend.”
Okay, scratch that. Brad sucks at helping me to feel better.
I roll my eyes at him.
“Look, dude, I know firsthand how bad the waiting can be. Especially when you feel like you’re in limbo. But you gotta ride it out. Do something to take your mind off it.” Brad puts his hand on my shoulder and pats it once. “You know what I mean?”
“Yeah, like when you were a human punching bag.” I smirk.
“Like that.” He grins.
“Well, shit, I’ve got stuff I can do. There are still things at the house I want to change. Plus, there is always another wave to catch. Maybe work on that old bike of my dad’s.”
“You still restoring that?”
I nod. My dad and I had started restoring an old vintage 1957 Triumph when I was a teen. He turned it over to me a few years back. It’s slow going, trying to get the right parts, and it fell to the wayside when I was working on my house. But I could easily tinker with it myself when I have time.
“Okay, so I find something to fill my time and then what?”
“Give her time,” he says.
“Shit. Then what’s the point?”
Fuck it. I’m going to text her.
ME: Hey gorgeous - just want you to know I’m thinking about you. Hope all is well.
I immediately get the three dots that signify a response, so I wait.
SADIE: Thank you. I appreciate that. More than you know. But,
SADIE: It’s probably best that you don’t. Think about me, that is. I don’t know what’s happening here. Everything is so up in the air. You should just think of you right now. And no one else.
