Page 127 of Love Undiscovered
I duck from instinct, but in reality, it comes nowhere near me and just flutters to the floor. Which just seems to make her angrier. She slumps to the floor and puts her face in her hands. I’m pretty sure she’s crying.
I crouch down next to her, “Remi, baby, look at me.”
“Go away,” she says.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. It started as a bet, but it became real for me, fast.”
“Fuck off.”
“Look, can we just start over?”
“Get the fuck out of my house.”
“Remi, if you think about this logically—”
“There is nothing logical about making a bet to sleep with someone. That’s high school. And horrible. And pathetic. And manipulative.”
“What about what you did?”
“I didn’t do anything near as bad as you.”
“But isn’t a bet a bet? How come mine is worse?”
“Just get out, Chance. I don’t want you here. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you.”
Does she mean just right now? Or ever?
Fuck, I've got to fix this.
How do I fix this?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
One step at a time. Let her calm down. Give her space.
She stands, grabs my arm, and pulls me toward the front door. I go willingly, but only because I feel like I need to give her time to calm down and become rational again. Then she’ll see that we kind of did the same thing.
I hope.
“I’ll call you later,” I say, as she pushes me through the doorway.
“Never call me again.” She slams the door behind me for emphasis.
The ground drops out from under me with about the same force as she slams the door. I sit heavily on the front stoop to try and regroup. Does she really mean to never call her? My heart feels heavy in my chest. It’s hard to breathe. How did I fuck this up so monumentally?
It's my own fault for making such a dick bet to begin with. What made me think it was okay to do this? To treat another person in this manner. My God, if someone did the same to my sisters, I'd kill them. No hesitation.
Maybe it's my penance for all the one-night stands? My lack of commitment with women. Because I didn’t try harder to help Helen. Or, shit, for making the bet to begin with. I don't deserve her. But fuck if I don't want her. I bury my head in my hands, then rub them roughly over my face.
I need to get out of here before I do something stupid.
Actually, maybe I need to get out of here so I can do something stupid.
