Page 120 of Love Undiscovered
Chapter 32
Chance
Mom calls us in to dinner and makes us sit in couples with her and dad flanking the heads of the table and Charlie between baby Hailey and my dad. Normally any one of us would help Hailey eat, but I think we are trying to keep it civilized for Remi’s sake by keeping Hailey flanked by her aunt and her mom.
The civility doesn’t last long.
“Yuck, Mama!” Hailey slams her hand down on her high chair tray catching the side of her bowl just right so it flips up, sending bits of mashed food sailing across the table, spraying Mike and Remi. Mostly Remi.
She gasps and jumps up, somehow pulling the tablecloth with her, spilling three glasses of wine in turn, and dumping my plate in my lap and hers on the floor. Mike grabs his before it falls.
“Nice catch,” I say. He nods. He used to play pro baseball, his reflexes are quick.
Hailey laughs, grabbing more food in her hands and trying to throw it, albeit unsuccessfully. Eliza, holding in laughter, takes the food from Hailey and attempts to scold her. We are used to the utter chaos that is family dinner. This doesn’t faze us a bit. And sometimes you just have to laugh at the crazy fucking shit life throws at you.
Like this.
Hudson barks twice, then comes running, nose to the ground to find any spilled food, which he considers fair game.
Charlies covers a laugh with a cough.
Remi looks first at me, her eyes wild and face reddening, then at my mom. “Ohmigod! I’m so sorry—”
“It’s okay,” everyone starts to say at once. My mom rushes over with a towel to wipe the food off Remi. She pulls up her skirt slightly to dab at it, exposing Remi’s garter belts and stockings to everyone.
“Oh, well, aren’t those pretty,” my mom says, her cheeks reddening.
My dad turns his head toward Charlie, his body shaking slightly.
“We should totally get you some of those,” Nate says to Eliza elbowing her slightly. “They’re hot.”
“Because the one kid doesn’t do enough damage? We don’t need hot, you already can’t keep your hands off me.”
Dad coughs the words, “Dad in the room,” in between laughs.
Charlie gives up trying to cover her laugh. I look down the table at Audrey and see that she’s crying, leaning in Mike’s direction. “Our kid is going to throw food, isn’t it? Oh my God, I don’t want a food throwing kid. Please tell me our kid won’t throw food.” I raise an eyebrow at Mike, he mumbleshormonesback in my direction.
I turn my attention back to Remi, who is still standing next to me while my mom continues to dab at her skirt with a towel.
“Pepperoni,” she whispers. I wink at her.
“What’s that, dear?” Mom says. “I can’t quite hear you over all the laughing.” She says the last three words much louder as a hint for everyone else to quiet down. A tactic that is never as effective as she thinks it’s going to be.
“I was telling Chance I’m craving pepperoni,” Remi says louder.
“Oh dear, you’re not pregnant too, are you? I craved sausage when I carried Chance.” Which triggers Charlie’s and my infantile sense of humor. Mom cravingsausage.I start laughing, while Charlie laughs harder.
Remi coughs out, “No, God no, not pregnant.”
Mom ignores us and continues talking to Remi, “Well, there’s still time. We don’t have any pepperoni, I’m afraid. Maybe a nice salami log?”
This time Eliza and Nate laugh with Charlie and I, full-on snorting belly laughs. Which spurns on Audrey and Mike. My dad hasn’t stopped laughing since Mom commented on Remi’s garter belts.
“That’s enough,” my dad says. But it’s ineffective when he’s laughing too. My mom is oblivious to sexual innuendos. God love her.
Remi’s face is an unusual shade of red at this point, and I realize it’s high time to save her from this.
“Ma, let me bring her into the bathroom. She can clean it off. I think Huds already took care of the floor for you.” Sure enough, Hudson has licked up all the food and wine from the floor. Mom steps back and lets us pass.
