Page 136 of Love Undiscovered
Chapter 37
Remi
I spend the morning hydrating and packing for the conference. I flip on CNN because I’m a bit of a news junkie and can’t handle when I don’t know what’s going on in the world around me.
I’m surprised to hear the local station break into my national news program to announce an out of control wildfire that has sprung up a few counties away due to theDiablowinds in that area. I’m thankful that fires like that aren’t common in San Soloman.
But then I realize Brad will probably get called away and grab my phone and shoot a quick text to Kat to let her know I’m thinking of them and sending hugs. I know she frets every time Brad is called out to a fire. Not that I blame her. In fact, I don’t think I could do it. Be romantically involved with someone who constantly put their life in danger as a career.
Ha!
Dangerous like a detective, Remi?
Except, the Chance Bauer express is no longer a ride I’m interested in. I still laugh to myself at how ironic it is. Or would that be coincidental? Kat confused me once on the difference and I’ve not got it straight since it drives me crazy.
Regardless, I don’t think being a detective is nearly as dangerous as fighting fires. Not that it matters since Chance and I are over. I look back over to the tv screen and see the aerial view of the area affected, the fire looks huge. The tickler at the bottom of the TV screen reads that the fire has spread to just over four thousand acres and zero percent contained.
As selfish as the thought may be, I’m thankful I live near the ocean and that hundreds of miles separate my home from the devastation I’m seeing on TV. My phone dings with a text, it’s Kat telling me that Brad hasn’t been called out to the fire yet, but they are all on call and anticipating having to move in to assist in the next few hours.
I grab my phone to text Connie.
Me: Hey, I don’t need a double occ room anymore, if that helps with the scheduling and stuff. Going solo.
Connie: Probably doesn’t matter anymore. Everything okay?
Me: Yep.
Connie: Chance have to work or something?
Me: Don’t know. Don’t care. We broke up.
Connie: Oh no! Remi! Are you okay? Do you want me to call you? Do you need anything?
Me: That’s sweet. No. I’m fine. Getting ready to head out the door. I’ll talk to you later.
Connie: I’m serious. Call me if you need to talk.
Me: Will do.
The local newscaster breaks back into my program to alert the fire has reached one of the northern freeways that I need to take to get to my conference today. Most of my co-workers, including my boss, went up last night, even though nothing starts until later today. I chose to wait since I don’t understand the draw of sleeping in a strange bed any longer than is absolutely necessary. Now I wish I’d joined them. If what she’s saying about the delays is accurate, I should have left over twenty minutes ago to make it on time.
I’m meeting my boss to discuss my presentation. I’m in the mid-morning slot tomorrow, which I prefer. Unlike the first morning slot, it gives people time to wake up a bit, and they aren’t too restless because we will have just had a coffee break. Which means they won’t be hungry and watching the clock for lunch.
The clothes that I pack are a lot more conservative than the clothes that I wear to work every day. Mostly because this is people in my industry on a global level and not just the sexist piss-ants that I enjoy distracting on a day-to-day basis. What I’m packing still maintains a bit of my own fashion sense, I just try to rein it in a bit. So, today is a mid-calf, navy blue pencil skirt with a matching short wasted jacket and a pillbox hat. I call it my flight attendant outfit because it reminds me of what they would wear back in the day.
For the presentation, however, I’m packing a black suit, similar to what I will wear today, minus the hat and decorative buttons. But I’ll pair it with sheer, black seamed stockings, and a pair of killer black heels. My feet will hurt all day, but these heels make me feel fierce, so it will be worth it.
I know my presentation is good, and my data is solid. My boss even said so when I submitted it for final review. But that does nothing to calm the nerves I feel, even this far in advance.
Because, no matter how prepared I am, there is always a small part of me that is convinced I’m going to fail. That same small part of me, lays in wait, like a snake, waiting until I am most vulnerable to strike.
Shake it off, Remi. You’ve got this!
* * *
Traffic is insanely heavy, and it takes me twice as long to get to the venue. I listen to a book on tape as I drive, it’s about reaching your fullest potential in life and love. Self-help books are my guilty pleasure. Even Kat and Lexie don’t know I read them. One of my therapists when I was a teenager, gave me a book on co-dependency in regards to my relationship with my parents. That was all it took. From then on, I’ve been convinced that each new book, or rather the next book I read, will be the one that will have the magic solution to fix my life.
Believe me, I know the lunacy in that. I’m a scientist. Not only is there no magic solution, but I sure as fuck am not going to find it in a book. But it doesn’t stop me from trying. Hoping. Reading. Listening.
