Page 47 of Love Undecided
“Oy vey!” she says, sounding congested and stuffed up. “I could have died in the time it took you boys to get here. Clearly you don’t understand emergency.”
“We got here as soon as we could, ma’am. Can you tell us where the emergency is?” Ethan asked her.
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“Don’t be aputz, I’m the emergency,boychik! I can’t breathe! Nothing is helping. I’ve tried everything.”
“You’re the woman who isn’t breathing?” I ask.
She looks at me now like I’m the putz. At least she didn’t say it too.
Ethan leans toward me. “Did she just call me a boy chick?” he asks in a low voice.
“My nose is completely stuffed up and I can’t breathe! Are you going to help or not?” she asks.
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“Well,” Ethan says. “We can take you to the hospital.”
One of the dogs is now pulling at Ethan’s pant leg and growling. I can’t tell if it’s playing or if it seriously thinks it can take Ethan down. I see him gently shake his leg to try and get the dog off.
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“No!” she says. “No doctors and no hospitals. My late husband,alev ha-sholem, died in a hospital. I am not ready to die, and especially not over something as ridiculous as not breathing. And they don’t know what they are doing at that hospital. So, no. You be a goodboychikand fix me. You do it here at my house.”
I laugh under my breath at her calling Ethan a boy chick again.
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“Ma’am,” I say.
“Mavis,” she says, smiling at me.
“Mavis,” I say. “We are licensed EMT’s, emergency medical technicians, and can assist when there is a medical emergency, but we are not licensed physicians, we did not go to medical school, and we are not equipped to help you with something that is much better suited for a doctor’s visit.”
“Feh! I told you, no doctors. No exceptions. Don’t you know who I am?”
“You’re Mavis,” Ethan says. I smirk at that.
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She flicks her hand at him. “Oy khokhem attick. I am Mavis Strassburg, perhaps you’ve heard of my late husband, Stone Strassburg?”
We had indeed heard of Stone Strassburg; he was a pillar of the community before he passed, very philanthropic with both his time and money. He was extremely well loved and admired. His son had passed away years before him and the entire town showed up to his memorial. The SSFD was called in to assist with traffic control, it was that busy. I’m surprised that neither Ethan nor I recognized her.
“Why don’t we come inside and we can take your vitals, and perhaps come up with something that can help,” I tell her.
She quiets the dogs, finally. “Stella! Clyde!Shtum!Shtum!”
Then she steps aside to let us in, motioning to the living room, where I see the house is much larger than it initially appears. I wonder if she lives here alone as I set the medical kit on the coffee table and open it. I help her sit on the couch so we can examine her.
We take her blood pressure, measure oxygen levels, check pupil reactions, take her temperature, test her reflexes, listen to her heart and chest, monitor her breathing, and look in her ears and throat. Nothing is out of normal range enough to be alarming. It looks like she has a common cold, so we tell her so.
She is not happy with this news. Mavis stands and puts her hands on her hips.
“Feh! What am I supposed to do now?” The dogs start to growl at Ethan and me again.
“I suggest rest, warm liquids, vitamin C, and maybe some chicken soup,” I tell her.
