Page 17 of Love Undecided
Chapter 8
Brad
This morning’s all-company work-out is a five-mile run. Which is going to suck considering what I did at the boxing gym yesterday. Every few times that we do an all-company run, we use a route that takes us along the beach in front of Kat’s house. The point of the runs are to be doing an exercise together, as a team.
So, we encourage one another if one guy starts to fall back, we move as one unit and there is no competition to see who can finish first. Its like when we are fighting a fire, we are moving as one cohesive whole, and not individual pieces. It’s hard to explain if you haven’t experienced it before. But it is why the chief called me into his office when we got back to the station.
Today, I left the group to check Kat’s house. I saw someone on her balcony as we were passing by. A man. Though by the time I got up the steps to the cliff top, he was gone. I’m positive he was on a ladder, or else he was abnormally tall, like almost seven feet tall. But I know he saw me coming. So my guess is I scared him off. The exterior of the house was undisturbed and I didn’t see anyone inside or an extra car in the drive or garage.
I checked the mobile app for her alarm as soon as we got back to the station, it showed no alarm activity. Which means no one tripped the alarm, or activated it for that matter. So, I tried calling Kat, but she didn’t answer. I sent her a text asking her to call me as soon as she can. And then I waited for what I knew was coming, right about now.
"Matthews, get your fucking ass in here now!" the Chief yells, his voice bellowing through the halls.
No one wants to get called into the Battalion Chief's office, especially not when he's yelling your name loud enough for it to echo off the walls. But when you have me leaving a group activity, combined with reckless behavior at a site early this week, and then the fresh cuts and bruises on my face of late from the boxing gym, you get a guy who’s about to get his ass reamed.
I head down the hall, passing through the bunk area. Ethan is there gathering sheets for laundry.
“Dude - I warned you. Get it together, man. I know you’re wrecked, but you can’t handle it like this. We’ve got to find another way.”
I give him a fist bump as I pass. “Thanks, man.”
I appreciate what he’s saying, plus the fact that he said, ‘we’ve got to find another way’ instead of ‘you have to find another way.’ I know he has my back. But this is something I need to handle on my own. He keeps talking as I walk past, “I got you, bro, you just gotta let me.”
I nod to Ethan in response and continue on to the Chief’s office. I stand in the doorway and wait for him to look up and acknowledge my presence. It doesn't take long.
"Sit your ass down, Matthews. You want to tell me what the fuck is going on with you and why you have such a death wish lately?"
I decide to play stupid just to see how long I can drag it out before he really lays into me. Probably not my smartest move.
“I’m not sure what you mean, Chief.”
“Don’t fuck with me, Matthews. You know exactly what I mean. What was that the other day - running into the house with no fucking helmet? Not even a fucking Nomex hood? And without waiting until I gave it the all clear? And then today with leaving the group run? And while I’m at it, what the fuck is going on with your face? You look like hell.” He pauses as though waiting for me to say something, but then continues anyway.
“It’s not just you. When you do something stupid, you are putting every single member of the team in danger. I will not tolerate that. If you want to put yourself in danger on your own time, fine, go jump off a cliff or a bridge, or out of a plane for all I care. But when you bring that shit into my house, on my time, we’ve got problems.”
He runs his hand through his hair. “You are a great firefighter, man, a fucking lieutenant, you’re smarter than this and we both know it. You could have been a captain by now without all these fuck ups and the shit with your girl. Don’t forget you set an example for the others, you have responsibilities to the family and the community. Don’t fuck this up.”
I nod at him in agreement.
“What’s the sign say, Matthews?” he asks, pointing to a large sign on the wall.
“Two go in, two go out,” I tell him in response.
“That’s right. That’s not just literal either. It’s the motto for how we live our life. With everything we do. Now quit being such an asshole and start living by it instead of just reciting it back to me.”
I hang my head in shame.
“You’re right, Chief. I’m sorry. I fucked up, it won’t happen again.”
“Make sure it doesn’t.”
I turn to leave, but stop when he calls my name again, “Matthews?”
I turn around. “Yeah?”
His voice is softer when he speaks this time. “I know a lot of this has to do with Kat and I’m sorry for that. Whatever it is that’s going on with her, work it out. Talk to someone, go get shit-faced, run twenty miles, I don’t care, but work it out. And not by doing whatever bullshit it is that gives you all these bruises on your pretty boy face. I won’t give you another chance. You’ve already taken more than your fair share of chances, and you know it.”
“Got it, Chief. Thank you.”
He nods in response, my cue to leave. “Shut the door behind you,” he says.
I pause outside the closed door. I had fucked up earlier this week. I didn’t wait for the Chief to size-up a fire or to give the all-clear. I didn’t wait for status on electric or gas utilities, I didn’t even wait to put most of my gear on. I just charged into the home after the neighbor told me there was a little girl and a babysitter trapped upstairs.
I don’t know how, but he must have known a thing or two about both the house and about fires because he also told me the stairs were on the immediate left when you enter the home, and the young girl’s bedroom on the immediate left at the top of the stairs. If I’m honest with myself, that’s the only thing that saved me. There was zero visibility in the home due to poor ventilation and heavy smoke. And I never would have been able to make my way into the house and upstairs in a timely manner before succumbing to smoke inhalation without my equipment. Let alone saving the two people inside and getting them out safely.
