Page 1 of Love Undecided
Chapter 1
Kat
My breath catches when I see him walking up.
He looks good, as in really good.
I’d asked him to meet me at a newer restaurant that we’d not been to before when we were a couple, just so there wouldn’t be any competing memories to mess with our heads.
Or maybe just my head.
Because we can’t be together.
And it doesn’t matter how bad either of us may want to be.
Not that I want to be.
No matter what my bestie, Remi, says. Or how many pictures of Brad I still have hidden in my house.
We’ve been over since the first time I found out I was dying. And the fact that I’m actually still alive changes nothing.
If having a terminal illness has taught me nothing else, it’s definitely taught me that all goodness comes to an end. And most times that end is heinous. I mean, whenever you get too used to goodness, it turns bad. Everybody knows that.
Well, everybody but Brad apparently.
Because nothing bad ever happens to Brad, at least not until me.
I’m Brad’s bad.
“Hey,” he says, softly.
“Hey.” I don’t really know what else to say past that.
The waitress saves me by coming to take our orders, I include a glass ofViognierwith mine, Brad raises his eyebrow at me but says nothing. I don’t care, I need some sort of fortification to get through this. The only other thing that I’ve done that was this hard was returning his ring when the cancer first came back.
We play at small talk until the food arrives. I'm gonna need more to drink. Half my wine is already gone.
So, I bite the proverbial bullet and sort of start the real conversation. “How’s Stacy?”
His girlfriend.
He looks at me curiously. “She’s doing well.”
“And, the two of you are doing well?”
“Are we doing this again Kat? If so, why?"
I stay silent, hoping it's a rhetorical question.
"She’s not you," he says. “But I guess we’re okay, considering.”
“Considering?”
“Oh, come on.” He runs his hand over his face and looks at me pointedly. “This is really how we’re going to play this?”
I look back, hoping I appear innocent.
He continues, “You know I care about her. She’s a sweet girl.” He sighs loudly. “How’s the guy?”
