Page 96 of Rakes & Reticules
“Not at all, Amelia,” James said, looking utterly contrite. “You are a wonderful girl. How could we ever laugh at you? I promise you, this was never our intention. But Rosie was right to be concerned about you. You have beaten yourself up so badly, you did not even believe it was possible for any man to be interested in you.”
“Notanyman,” she shot back, trying to keep her head held high, although her tears gave her feelings away. “Just no man here.”
“Still, it proved Rosie’s point. You were so sure it was some mistake and the note was placed in the wrong reticule. But you are fine enough for any of us.” He cast her a wry smile. “Certainly smarter than most of us.”
He now turned to his brother. “I’m sorry about the deception. I should have told you from the first. But you would have told Amelia the truth and exposed our plan. We thought it was a good one and harmless. We just wanted to give her a reason to smile.”
“About a fake admirer?” The duke raked a hand through his hair.
“Aunt Rosie, was it not bad enough you had to twist His Grace’s arm to take me under his wing? Could you not have left it alone at that? And you, Your Grace...”
“What about me?” He arched an eyebrow in obvious surprise. “Amelia, I had no part in this. I would have put a stop to it immediately had I known.”
She shook her head. “But you did play along, taking on your role as my protector all too readily. All you had to do was sit with me on occasion, no more than five minutes every once in a while. But you showed me your private museum and then partnered with me in the scavenger hunt and at cards. You tried to teach me to dance. Worst of all, you gave me a kiss to dream on for the rest of my life. Did you think I would not fall in love with you after that kiss?”
“Must have been some kiss,” Lord Danvers muttered.
Amelia frowned at him. “Do not even jest about this.”
Dorothea and her circle of friends laughed. “How pathetic, did you think the kiss meant anything to him? You, a dull, little mouse?”
“No, I’m sure it did not mean a thing to him. I never supposed his heart was at risk.” She turned back to Lord Danvers, glowering through her tears. “You and my aunt goaded him to it.Him. You were pitting a mouse against a jungle cat. Did you never consider the obvious outcome? How am I supposed to feel about this now? Should I be smiling because the entire weekend has been a gigantic hoax?”
She turned to her aunt once again. “Aunt Rosie, do you know what hurts most?”
Her aunt reached out a hand to her. “Oh, my dear.”
“I know you love me, but you also have so little faith in me. This is what tears me apart. I know I am no society darling, but I was happy with who I am. I never once thought of myself as a hopeless laughingstock. But now...have I been deluding myself?” She turned to look at Callum as she spoke the rest. “I never wanted to be your charity case. I wish with all my heart you had simply left me alone.”
“Amelia–”
“No! I never wanted to be a sad spinster in desperate need of a duke’s kiss to get her through the empty years of her life. And the worst part of it is that I still do not know how to dance.”
She tried to push out of his arms again, for he was still holding onto her in that ridiculously protective way that only made her hurt worse.
But he refused to let her go.
Why was he being so stubborn?
And looking at her so possessively?
“Amelia,” he said with a surprising ache to his voice, “I am going to teach you to dance.”
“Seriously? Have you not done enough damage?” She pushed at his chest, but he was built of stone and would not budge. “Can you not see all your friends are laughing at me? I would laugh, too, if I could ever stop crying.”
The more she tried to push away, the more securely he wrapped his arms around her. “No one is going to laugh at you.”
“They already are.” She gave up and buried her face against his chest. She did not stop her tears as they began to flow in earnest.
She felt the knuckle of his hand caress along her cheek.
Why could her aunt and the duke’s family not leave well enough alone?
Amelia knew she was never going to be atondiamond. This wasn’t who she was or ever wanted to be. Her parents never wanted her. Was it any surprise she also lacked suitors? She was a bluestocking and never raised to be a society belle. In time, she might have found a scholarly man who thought she was clever and wanted to marry her. But she could not marry any such man now.
Her heart did not work that way.
Once given, she could not take it back.
