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My only regret is I’m without my camera.

She lets the robe slip from her shoulders, her skin glistening and rosy underneath, and reclines on the bed. “Come here.” She holds her hand out to me, her legs open. My footsteps are muted against the rug on her bedroom floor, a high pile, thick and luxurious. I sit on the edge of her mattress, take her hand to kiss her fingertips. She says nothing when I reach for the bottle of lubricant, the butt plug, the condoms she left on the table.

“Do you want to use these?” I ask.

She shrugs, glides her palm up and down my thigh. With each pass, her fingernails reach higher under the hem of my shorts. “Only if you want to.”

I set the plug down. The rose gold teardrop plug with a pink rose base is pretty, but I am greedy, selfish for Chloe in a way that makes the idea of sharing any part of her with a toy unfathomable. If she’s going to be filled up, it will be with me.

“What do you want?” I ask. That’s what we’ll end up doing anyway, and I’ve waited long enough to get here; I’m done playing coy. I match the stroke of her hand on my leg with my own hands on hers. She shifts against me, rolling from her back to her side to her stomach. Her back arched, her ass presented for me.

My mouth waters to bite her. My cock throbs with each beat of my heart. My hands land on her cheeks, my thumb at the curve where her ass meets her inner thigh. I slide my thumb deeper, into the crease of her skin, into the folds of her cunt, and come away wet. I glide my thumb up the crack of her ass, drag her wetness over the tight bud.

“You want,” I say, my voice deeper, hoarse, “me to fuck you here?”

She looks over her shoulder at me. Nods.

I pinch her, watch the skin turn white, then deepen red, and she moans as I rub my thumb over the spot. “Yes,” she says. “I want you to fuck me there.”

“Hold on.” My voice is unrecognizable. I kiss her ass cheek and walk on shaky legs into her bathroom. “I’ll be right back,” I say without pause as I close the door. I can taste my arousal in the back of my throat. My jaw is tight, my back, my hips. My cock so hard it will undoubtedly bounce comically when I pull down my shorts. I’m dizzy for her.

We haven’t even hadsexyet, again. Traditional, straight sex. Not that I’m complaining; it just feels like a big jump. Something we never would have skipped in the past, when we treated sexual experiences like boxes to check off.

I wash my hands thoroughly. Splash cool water on my face. I open the door, and she’s standing at one of the windows, barely hidden behind her sheer curtains. Between getting fingered in a public library, the car, in my parents’ basement while they were sleeping, onmy pool deck, in front of a camera, and now this, maybe Chloe has a bit of an exhibitionist streak in her.

Maybe, with her, I do, too.

“Hey.” I cup her shoulders, brush my lips across the back of her neck, moving her hair from one side to the other.

She relaxes into me. “Hey.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask into the meat of her trap muscle. “I don’t mind fucking you the other way.”

“Have you never done it before?” she asks, turning in the circle of my arms.

I search her face before I answer. “No. You have?”

She nods.

“You like it?”

She nods more. “Yeah.”

“Okay, baby.” I pull her with me, walking backward until the backs of my legs hit her bed. I sit on the edge, guide her leg up, and set her foot next to my hip. Her pussy glistens, the skin plump and pink. She got a wax recently, and while I’ve never really cared either way, it is nice to see her like this, really and truly bare. I spread her lips and let her guide me by the hair to her clit.

I don’t close my eyes; as if I could look away. Chloe with her head thrown back, her body arched into my face. Chloe with her perfect tits, that I never get to see from this angle. Chloe with the sounds she makes as I lick her and suck her faster, reward her with sounds of my own when she pulls at my hair and says my name. She comes fast, shuddering against my tongue, rubbing her body against my face so that if I die, at least they can addhe died doing what he lovedto my tombstone.

She falls onto the bed beside me, and I start stripping off my clothes. She directs me to get a towel and a washcloth, to wet it. Passes me the lube, asks me to kiss her hip, to bite her shoulder the first time I press my finger inside her. She lies on her stomach, hips propped onto pillows, legs spread. I take my cues from her words, from her hands fisted in the sheets.

She tells me to put the condom on sooner than I expect, when her spine is still rigid beneath my hand, her thighs shaking.

“Why do you want to do this?” I ask, tapping her on the hip so she’ll roll over to face me.

“I…because…” She seems bewildered at the question.

We crawl up the bed together until she’s wrapped around my body, her ass in my hand and her nipples within reach of my mouth.

“Remember in high school,” I say, smiling when she makes anughface.“People thought anal meant you were still a virgin?” Back when the concept of virginity was something we ascribed importance to.