Page 89 of A Forgotten Heart
Again.
Twilight fell outside the window of her classroom, casting shadows over the room. She should head home. The deputy that Marshal O’Grady had assigned to walk her home had checked on her twice already.
Instead, she sat at her desk, gazing at the empty chairs pushed against the walls to make room for the Christmas social tomorrow night, the decorations only half done. The same way Merritt had left it when Elsie had asked to be alone.
Her tears had dried up long ago, and yet Elsie could still feel their salty residue on her cheeks.
After Nick had left, Arnold had come to stand beside her on the boardwalk. She hadn’t explained. Only asked him to walk her back to the schoolhouse. He’d seemed to understand that she needed time.
The pine boughs remained draped over the chairs, not yet hung, but their aroma reminded her of what she should be doing.
In her hand, she held the sweet little note written in clumsy pencil left on her desk before break.
Miss Achson, you the best teachr I evr had.
Signed, Wyn. The kindergartner who sat in the front row. The one who Timothy, second grade, pestered constantly by pulling her braids. The one who struggled with spelling but was very quick with arithmetic.
The ache swelled and captured Elsie’s breath. Wyn would forget about Elsie before long.
Elsie smoothed her thumb over Wyn’s rendition of Miss Atchison. She would have to leave little Wyn. She’d have to leave all of them. With Nick in the area, she couldn’t stay here. He’d walked away with such finality resonating in his boot steps that she knew he’d never forgive her.
He’d look for a wife again. Maybe ask Merritt to continue finding him a mail-order bride. Staying in Calvin and watching a wife on his arm would kill Elsie’s heart completely.
She had no choice. She’d leave Calvin and find another teaching post.
A knock sounded on the door. Arnold let himself in, still looking fine in his tailored suit. He wasn’t smiling this time.
Elsie stood. She could only hope her eyes weren’t as red as they felt.
He stayed by the door, as if waiting for an invitation to come closer. “I wanted to check on you.”
She took a deep breath. “I owe you some answers.”
He glanced down at his hat in his hand, then back up, his expression kind. “The only one I really need is a yes to my proposal.”
He stayed in the doorway but kept watching her with an intent look. “Elsie, you’re special. Maybe I took too long to express how deep my feelings run, or maybe I didn’t say it with eloquent words, but…” He sucked in a long breath. “The truth is, I don’t care about some cowboy or what must’ve passed between you. I want to marry you. Take care of you.”
Her inhale wobbled.
They were the right words, only…the wrong man.
Truth welled inside, and she couldn’t contain it any longer. “Nick isn’t some cowboy. Not to me. He’s so much more than that.”
The bare truth in the words resonated. She’d been so worried about hurting Arnold, making things worse, but with that first truth out, the rest of it came more easily.
“I knew Nick in college. We were…we were sweethearts, but we parted ways.” The words tumbled out like they’d been held back for too long.
Arnold listened.
“I never thought I would see him again, but his family’s ranch is here in Calvin—” She cut herself off before she revealed the days they’d been stranded together. Those memories were special. They were hers alone. “Spending time together made me realize I…I…” She inhaled. “I still love him.”
The impact of her words left her trembling. She clenched her hands to her stomach. She hadn’t even admitted it to herself until this moment.
She loved Nick. And she’d hurt him by not being able to instantly refuse Arnold, by keeping secrets. How could she ask him to forgive her when she’d done so much damage?
Arnold didn’t seem angry. Only contemplative. “I don’t believe that I mistook your affection for me. Not over the several months we corresponded.”
Elsie pressed her palms onto her desk. This was part of why she liked Arnold so much as a friend. He wasn’t afraid to argue for what he wanted, but he was gentle and kind about it. “I care for you, but not like a wife should. I think of you as a dear friend.”
