Page 73 of A Forgotten Heart
Rapid footsteps sounded overhead. The girls were up.
Rebekah called downstairs, and Clare gave Nick a worried look before she left the room.
Elsie grabbed one of the cups of coffee and moved to Nick’s side, offering it to him.
“Slow down and think,” she said quietly. “You’re one of the most intelligent men I know. You can figure this out.”
His jaw tensed. “If I take time to think, then we’ll all be dead.”
She pushed the cup into his hand, though she didn’t know whether he really registered that he’d taken it. “I don’t understand.”
He made a move toward the window, peering outside. He sipped the coffee, speaking quickly. “When I was about Eli’s age, Pa took all four of us boys on a cattle drive, and I was sent ahead to drive the herd.” He shook his head, clearly disappointed in himself for choices from the past. “I slowed down, trying to decide between two routes. Fell too far back. Took too much time thinking on which trail might be faster. I lost control of the herd and couldn’t turn the cattle away from a rocky slope.”
His eyes slid closed. “Because I wasn’t where I needed to be, because I hesitated, some of the stock got injured. One so badly it had to be put down. It was a lean year, and we couldn’t afford to lose any head. Pa said I was the weak link.”
Oh, Nick.
Elsie’s heart hurt for the boy he’d been. For the pain his father’s words must’ve caused—still did. A young boy shouldn’t have to bear such a heavy burden.
He looked at her, and she saw the fire inside him, this shame from the past burning him up even now. “I can’t let my family, the people I care about, be injured or—killed”—he barely breathed the word—“because I’m thinking too slowly.”
“Everyone makes mistakes,” she whispered. “Imagine if it was Eli. Or David. Would you be angry with them?”
She saw the way his jaw worked as he cut his gaze away so his focus was on the window again. “Maybe.”
She’d already seen the way he’d blamed himself for sending the boys to do a man’s job. Thank God David and Eli were safe.
“You have to forgive yourself,” she said. “I’m sure your father did, even if he didn’t say so.”
He stared at her and blinked, as if forgiving himself was a foreign concept.
“This family needs you to take a breath and think. Don’t you see? That’s your role. How you fit.”
She saw the tiny shake of his head in his reflection in the darkened window. Had he held on to this pain for all these years?
He rubbed a hand down his face. “No amount of thinking is going to change this. We need help.”
His brows creased after he said the words, his eyes narrowing in a way that meant his mind was working.
Since they’d been thrown back together, she’d witnessed the real Nick McGraw. The protective, fun uncle. The loyal brother. The intelligent teacher.
She was falling in love with him all over again.
A voice rang out from upstairs. “Uncle Nick! They’re coming!”
She jumped.
He turned from the window. Put the coffee cup on the counter. “We need help. That’s the answer.”
Clare ran back into the room, already reaching for one of the rifles.
He motioned to the window. “The neighbors’ll come if there’s a fire. A big inferno they can see for miles.”
Elsie’s heart thundered in her chest. “You’re going to burn down the house?”
Nick shook his head, mind still working. “We need the hay in the barn to make it through the winter—Drew will want to keep the house.”
Clare looked between them, eyes wide.
