Page 74 of A Dangerous Heart
Isaac felt a beat of guilt. He should’ve written home more.
“Her leaving broke me. She walked away from me, from the kids…I kept asking myself why I hadn’t been enough for her to stay.” He shook his head, his eyes focused on the far distance and his thoughts in the past. “I was still in that same dark place you are now when Kaitlyn arrived. Ed, Merritt, Kaitlyn. All of them worked at setting me straight.”
Was that what Drew was trying to do for Isaac now?
“I knew something had happened just before you came home for good,” Drew admitted. “Thought I’d give you time to sort it out. But maybe that wasn’t the right thing.” He paused, his eyes searching Isaac’s. “Nick told me what happened.”
Isaac let that sink in. He wasn’t angry with his younger brother. Maybe it was time to lay everything bare.
Drew wasn’t finished. “You’ve held on to this grief and shame for far too long. It’s like a wound you set festering till it’s poisoned everything. You weren’t to blame for the tragedy that happened.”
Drew’s blunt assertion hit like a hammer, battering against the self-blame Isaac had carried for so long.
“But even if you think in that cockeyed brain of yours that you’re to blame, you have to know that you’re forgiven. God has forgiven you. You know this as sure as the sun rises.”
Drew’s words hung in the air. A declaration that was too good to be true. One Isaac hadn’t dared believe until now.
“You’ve got to come to the end of yourself and let God be the hero in you. Who do you think gave you that quick draw?”
Isaac couldn’t speak. Emotion rolled through him.
Drew sighed. “It’s time to let it go.”
The words reminded Isaac of what Clare had said during that quiet, starry night. He wasn’t to blame. He’d never be a dime-novel hero. But he could be a good man.
His eyes went to the mountain range in the distance, turned back to the river, and the camp beyond. He took in a cleansing breath, feeling steadier. Cody was dead, and Isaac couldn’t bring him back. But Isaac was alive. Eli was still alive, as far as he knew. Isaac wasn’t going to squander any more of the time he had left.
He looked at Drew. His brother seemed to read this new peace stealing over him. Drew smiled. “Let’s go get Eli.”
Isaac stood and they walked together toward the horses saddled and waiting. A new determination filled Isaac. After this was all over, he was going to beg Clare to give him a chance to make things right.
He had to know. “Is Clare all right?”
“Clare?” Drew’s forehead creased. “She’s not here?”
Isaac stiffened in alarm. “Why would she be here?”
“She snuck out and rode off during the night. Everyone assumed it was to meet up with you.” Drew motioned to Isaac’s saddle. To the shawl. “Isn’t that hers? I figured she was somewhere close.”
“She’s not here.” Isaac’s heartbeat kicked up. Drew had made an assumption. It was a mistake, but one he could understand.
But if Clare wasn’t here with Isaac, and she wasn’t at the main house, that meant…
Clare wouldn’t ride out in the middle of the night to meet up with him. She’d gone after Eli.
Isaac strode to his horse, a new urgency gripping him. “We need to get down there.”
Chapter 19
The breaking dawn chased away the last of the shadows, like the truth Drew had told him had chased away the doubts that had haunted him for years. A quiet steadiness had settled in Isaac—a peace he hadn’t felt since boyhood, or maybe ever. Fog hovered over the surface of the frigid water as Isaac swam alongside his horse up the center of the river. He was soaked and freezing, but every sense was razor sharp.
Drew was right behind him. They approached Victor’s camp slowly, keeping low in the water and trusting that the tall banks would hide their approach. Nick and Ed, along with two neighbors, were supposed to make a wide circle and come at the camp from the opposite side. Danna, Jack, and another deputy planned to cross the train bridge on foot. Isaac caught sight of a shadow moving on the bridge. They were in place.
Drew paused as they edged to the end of the bluff. Any farther and they’d be in plain sight of Victor’s camp. For a moment, there was only the sound of water lapping around them as it rushed past.
Then a voice rang out. One that had become so dear he’d know it anywhere.
Clare.
