Page 19 of A Steadfast Heart
Drew pocketed his file and examined his fingers. No blood, thankfully. He should know better than to get distracted while sharpening a plowshare.
Laughter drifted across the barnyard from where David and Ed stood outside the weathered barn, chatting. Drew’s stomach tightened. David had been avoiding him all morning. He leaned back toward the equipment, the cold from the frozen ground seeping through the knees of his pants. His file screeched against another burr. Whoever had put up the plow last fall had forgotten to coat it with oil. Now it would take nearly a day to get it ready. One more chore in an endless list.
Hoofbeats stopped nearby. Drew glanced up, swallowed another sigh. Isaac waited, all kitted out and obviously not planning on staying at the homestead today. Drew put down the file and walked over.
“You headed out?” Drew ran his hands over his pants legs, wiping off the dust from the plow.
Isaac nodded. “Thought I’d check on the new calves and the last few pregnant cows.”
“I’ll see you tonight, then.”
Isaac shook his head. “I heard some wolves pretty close. Thought I’d make sure they weren’t building a den somewhere nearby.”
Isaac’s voice sounded steady but lacked the note of humor that used to be a near constant. What had killed Isaac’s laughter?
Drew rubbed the back of his neck. “Last night you said you wanted to talk to me.”
Isaac looked toward the path he’d be riding, his face expressionless. “It can wait. You’ve got a lot on your hands.”
The conversation had already waited too long, to Drew’s way of thinking. He glanced down at his brother’s waist. No pistols. Isaac hadn’t worn them since he’d returned home without his badge. “Isaac?—”
“I said it could wait.” He guided his horse toward the pastures.
Drew turned back to the plow, his heart heavy. When had Isaac lost his smile, his joshing good humor? Growing up, he’d been behind most of the mischief the brothers had made, and most of the fun as well. Now he seldom smiled. Never laughed. Looked like he never slept.
The file jerked in Drew’s hand, caught on another burr. He wiggled it, but it wouldn’t move forward or back. Drew sighed and left the file where it lay. He had bigger fish to fry. What could he do to help his brother? Isaac needed more than Drew could give him. For now, only the vast empty land seemed to give Isaac peace. If the cost of that peace was more work for Drew, so be it.
He stood and jostled the plow handles. The rungs had worked loose again. They’d have to be tightened before he plowed more land for the hay his larger herd needed. Maybe he’d expanded too fast. Drew pushed the thought away. His brothers deserved their own land, their own places. They’d just have to make it work. With the old plow.
But for now, he needed to get the team. A few minutes later, he led the dappled grays out of the barn to the wagon. Ed ambled up and took one horse, quickly moving to the front of the wagon.
Drew’s shoulders relaxed. He could always count on Ed to jump in with whatever needed doing. They busied themselves with straps made stubborn by the cold.
Ed adjusted a buckle for a better fit. “We could start tearing down the bunkhouse while you’re gone, to recycle the lumber.”
“No need. I’m headed to town. I’ll see what I can get for that bull and price lumber while I’m there.”
Ed nodded. “The bull needs selling, but where will we get money for a new one if we use the money from his sale on lumber?”
“I’ll handle it.” And without touching his bride’s money. That wasn’t part of their deal. If Kaitlyn could just help Jo, she’d more than pull her weight.
Except he couldn’t let his brothers pay the price for his own pride. The ball of guilt that had taken up permanent residence in his gut grew. The original homestead couldn’t support four families. It made sense that he’d inherited it, as he was both the oldest and the only brother with a family.
But if it made sense, why did he feel like a thief?
The front door slammed, and Jo stomped down the porch steps. “I don’t wanna wear this dress,” she hollered. David followed her, stopping to kick at something.
Ed cleared his throat. “Are you sure about this marriage?”
Drew adjusted a strap that already lay perfectly smooth. Fact was, he wasn’t sure about anything. “It isn’t real, you know. The marriage, that is.”
“Once you’re in front of that preacher, it’s as real as it gets. No going back.”
David moved closer to Jo, his expression scornful. He said something Drew couldn’t hear, and Jo took a swing at him. David danced back out of reach.
Was this marriage the right thing for the kids? He shook his head. He couldn’t predict the future. He only knew they couldn’t continue as they were now. David longed for more education than Drew could provide, and Jo? Well, he didn’t even know what Jo needed.
The front door opened, and Tillie stepped onto the porch. Kaitlyn followed. Tillie’s hair was pulled back into a bow. A bow, of all things. He didn’t even know they had ribbon. Tillie took Kaitlyn’s hand and pulled her toward the wagon, her smile wider than he could remember seeing. Drew’s heart lightened.
