Page 423 of Conveniently Wed
“You know I’m on your side. You have no idea how worried I’ve been about you.”
Katie’s chest twinged and she turned toward her.
“Here we are”—Amelia’s hand fanned out over the orchard—“living a life of abundance while you pay the price.”
“I’m fine.” She forced as much cheeriness as she could into her voice as she turned back to her work. She really was fine. Why was it so hard to say the words to Amelia?
“Are you? Look me in the eyes and tell me that.”
Katie stopped picking fruit, but ignored the question. Her hands gripped the side of the apple bag slung around her shoulders so hard, the material bit into her skin.
“Ah, I get it,” Amelia said. “You’re putting on a brave face, even with me.”
“You don’t get it. I’m making the best of a difficult situation, and if kindness was good enough for you, why can’t it be good enough for me?”
“Because you’re nothing like me. Not even a little bit. And the older I get, the more I realize kindness would never be enough in a marriage. Now that I’m seeing Edmund, I want him to feel crazy, earth-shattering love for me, and I for him.”
She couldn’t bite back her frown. “Why do you bring this up knowing my?—”
“I asked because I long for you to find happiness and love. My own guilt at having all we have at your expense eats away at me. But I see the way he looks at you. He loves you.”
Katie stepped down the ladder and poured her apples into the nearby bin. “What’s done is done, Amelia. And things are far better than I expected. I’ve had enough of this conversation. I’m going home.”
Amelia scurried down her ladder and grabbed her arm. “Are things better? Do you think you’ll grow to love him?”
“I don’t know…”
Amelia drew her into a hug. “I hurt when you hurt,” she whispered into Katie’s ear. “And now I’m hurting for Josiah too. I really like the man.”
Katie pulled back. “So do I.” Unwanted tears filled her eyes. “Can’t that be enough?”
Amelia held her shoulders, searching her eyes. “You tell me.”
But Katie couldn’t meet her gaze. She stepped away from her sister, then turned and walked toward home.
One evening later that week, Josiah took Katherine’s hand as they retired to the parlor to sit in front of the fire. He loved their time of stimulating conversation, their time to catch up from the day.
“I expect Colby any day now,” he said. “Wait until you meet him, you’ll love him. He’s like the brother I never had.” He pulled her down beside him, and she leaned into him.
“Will he have the horses you want?”
“That’s my hope. If he’s successful, you’ll be as thrilled as I am, and you’ll have your pick.” He wrapped his arm around her.
“You keep this up, and you’ll indeed spoil me.”
He laughed. “Would that be such a bad thing, a man spoiling the woman he loves?”
The minute he said the wordlove,her body tensed. She pulled away, but he left his arm cradled around her. He pressed hard against the pang of sorrow that threatened to rise within him. Why couldn’t he just be happy with what she was giving? Why did he need more? Were a happy home, a friendship, and now even the possibility of family not enough for his greedy soul?
“Josiah.”
“Hmm?”
“I wish I could say?—”
He lowered his lips to hers, unable to bear the sound of her putting her lack of love into words.
As he kissed her soundly, he was almost able to press his disappointment out of his thoughts. He drew back enough to catch his breath. “Let’s retire for the evening.” He left off the endearment,my love, hanging on the tip of his tongue.
