Page 566 of Conveniently Wed
Lorinda sat in the wingback chair closest to the fireplace. “I’m so thankful we have her. She’s so much help now that we have two babies.”
“And she enjoys them so much.” Franklin picked up Michael and moved to the oval rag rug in front of the fire. “Every child needs at least one grandparent, and she makes a good one.”
Lorinda smiled at her husband while she held Andrew on her shoulder patting his back. She usually had a much harder time getting him to burp than she had when Michael was so tiny.
“Let’s trade.” Franklin set Michael on her lap and gently slid the other baby from her arms.
She grabbed for Michael before he could slide off. He was always so busy, wiggling and kicking and exploring everything around him. She stood him on her legs, and he started trying to jump.
Lorinda liked watching Franklin with each of the babies. He was a tall, muscular man who really had a way with them. Just then, Andrew emitted a substantial burp.
“Is he spitting anything on you?” She started to get up.
“Stay there. I’ll grab another diaper in case he’s not finished. So far, he’s not gotten anything on my shirt, but if it was, I’d call it my badge of honor because I’m a dad.”
Everything was normal tonight. A happy family enjoying each other’s company. Why had she been worried before? Even this long after coming to this wonderful home, the horrible things that went on when she was with her father and uncle still affected her. She had to quit letting herself think something awful was coming in her future. Stop questioning in her mind everything Franklin did for her. He couldn’t have any hidden, negative agenda.
Nothing bad is going to happen.
35
The next morning, dawn revealed a layer of white covering everything, and still the clouds hovered around the mountain peaks, pregnant with more snow. Franklin was thankful he and the hands had finished getting the remaining cattle ready for the winter. For the time being, the flakes had stopped falling. The stark whiteness covered every blemish in the landscape, reminding him of the scripture that says that the blood of Jesus can cover our sins and make them white as snow. With that thought, he realized he couldn’t put off his talk with Lorinda any longer. As long as he continued to selfishly hold her in bondage to this marriage, his sins weren’t covered. They were red like scarlet, and he felt every one deep in his heart and soul.
He needed a private time with his wife, but the regular events kept this from happening until early-afternoon when Mrs. Oleson went upstairs to rest and both babies were napping. He faced the confrontation with dread, knowing the meeting might not be pleasant...especially for him, if she chose to go.
The fire in the parlor made the room cozy, in spite of the cold winds whistling around the sides of the house. He waited near the doorway, watching for Lorinda to exit the bedroom the boys shared. When she came out and quietly closed the door, hisheart leapt into his throat. A few blonde curls had escaped the bun that rested low on the back of her head. They hung along her face and neck, outlining her with a bright halo. As his gaze followed the path of the curls, the desire to drop kisses along its length almost took his breath away. Her beauty overwhelmed him, because he knew she was lovely both inside and out. A woman any man would be glad to share his life with. Have her as the mother of his children. What a fool he’d been to make decisions based solely on his own selfish needs...or what he’d thought he needed. How wrong he had been. What he really wanted was to be that man and spend the rest of his life loving her.
Oh, Lord, please help me get through this. And if it’s possible, let me keep my wife...for real, this time.
“Lorinda.” He kept his tone soft so he wouldn’t startle her or awaken the boys.
She glanced at him, a bright smile spreading across her face. “Yes, Franklin?” His name spoken softly like that felt like a caress.
That smile made him desire her even more...in every way.“I’d like to talk to you, if you have time.”No, I wouldn’t...not about this, but I have to.The words soured on his stomach.
“Of course.” She entered the parlor like a queen in her own castle. That’s what this house should be...her castle. She belonged here just as much as he did.
The twinkle in her eyes told him she had no inkling of what was coming. He knew what he had to say would remove that spark. What else would it do to this dear woman?Lord, give me the right words.That whispered prayer didn’t bring him any comfort. He felt as if it bounced off the ceiling and got no closer to heaven.
She glided like an angel floating on a cloud and settled into one of the wingback chairs close to the warm fire. He droppedinto the matching chair across from her.Now how should I start?He didn’t hear any words from heaven to help him. He was on his own, and he’d already made such a mess of things.
After an elongated period of silence, Lorinda leaned toward him. “What did you want to talk about, Franklin?”
With a loud harrumph, he cleared a boulder from his tight throat. “Just some things I need to say to you.”How awkward.
She nodded, and her smile wobbled a little.
He leaned his forearms on his thighs and clasped his hands between his knees. That didn’t help. He just needed to start somewhere and get it over with.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about us and our marriage.” He glanced up at her face and caught a confused expression. This wasn’t going to be easy. He didn’t want to watch his words hurt her, and they might.
“What about our marriage?” Her voice had a tremble in it.
“I’ve come to believe I took advantage of you when I shouldn’t have.”
She scrunched her forehead. “How?” The word was barely above a whisper, but he heard it loud and clear.
“You were vulnerable...and you needed help...help I could give.”
