Page 460 of Conveniently Wed
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Josiah flipped over on his bed for the hundredth time that night. His crumpled sheets and the summer humidity didn’t help, but it was his racing mind that wouldn’t let up.
He didn’t know what to think of Colby’s leaving. Part of him was overjoyed that the main point of distraction in his marriage would be removed. But another part of him knew it was unlikely Katherine would ever trust him again, so Colby’s leaving was pointless. Now, he’d lost not only his wife, but also his best friend and business partner. And he couldn’t risk the pain of another broken heart. It hurt way too much.
So why did he keep thinking about her? Why did he keep asking himself, if she would even want him after all this time? He had the papers, why didn’t he file for the annulment?
He forced his mind away from Katherine, but where it settled was no better. Managing without Colby was like plunging over a waterfall in a canoe, not knowing how or if he would surface. Staff were coming at him during the day with more problems than he could handle. The only good thing about it was that he didn’t have to think about her. Until the night.
Love and hate twisted together in rope-like strength. Josiah loved Colby like a brother, yet hated what had transpiredbetween Katherine and him. He loved the man’s work ethic. No one could ask for a better partner. But he hated that Colby could make Katherine happy when he’d failed.
He loved the new man Colby had turned into, so filled with Christian love that he would leave so their marriage would have a chance, but he hated Colby for ditching out on their plans to build the best horse ranch ever. And what was the point of that, anyway, with no heirs, no wife, no reason to slave the day away? Why did he bother?
Loneliness pressed in, sucking the air from the room. He missed Colby more than words could say. So maybe love burned stronger than hate.
He heaved his body out of bed and pulled on his clothes. Though still pitch black, he might as well get an early start to the day. Sleep was impossible.
Katie stared into her full-length mirror as she combed her hair and twisted it into a bun at the nape of her neck. That talk with Pa, and then with Colby leaving, had shown her she must find the gumption to go on. She’d survived sorrow before, and she could do it again.
Her clothes hung on her frame, her dress now at least two sizes too large. She gave herself a long stare in the mirror. This moping about had to stop. The least she could do was help Delilah until the annulment or divorce papers arrived, whichever Josiah filed for. A shudder ran from tip to toe at the thought.
She didn’t dare do the bookkeeping for fear of running into Josiah. But she missed that job and the stimulation of her mind more than the rest of her chores put together. The fact that shewas good at it and often found ways to save the ranch money only added to her loss.
No matter how Katie mixed the stew pot of her life, she came up with confusion. She’d been relieved to confront Josiah about their dying marriage, but surprised at the pain his suggestion of a divorce brought. Was her sadness the result of failure, or the loss of what could have been? To hear from everyone, including Colby, that Josiah still loved her—everyone but Josiah, that was—added to her bewilderment. How could he love her and part ways at the same time?
Fear nipped at her mind as she closed her bedroom door and headed down the steps. Where would she go? What would she do with her life once the divorce was finalized?
She entered the kitchen where Abe and Delilah were having breakfast. Her hands twisted in the folds of her work wrapper.
One look in her direction, and they jumped up and crossed to her. Delilah engulfed her in a warm hug, and she fought the urge to cry.
“We missed you, yes’um, we did.” Delilah pulled back, tears sparkling in her black eyes. Abe stepped in for his own hug.
A corner of her broken heart mended, and she hugged back. “I want to help today.” Her voice cracked. “It’s not been good isolating myself like I have.”
“Praise be to Jesus.” Delilah threw her arms heavenward. “And these creaky ol’ bones could surely use the help.”
Josiah walked into the room as they drew apart, and Katie tensed. But she didn’t expect the pained expression on his face, before his mask slid into place and he nodded quickly. “Good morning.” He helped himself to a cup of coffee and left.
The slam of the back door sent a tremble to her hands. She hated she’d made him uncomfortable in his own home. That familiar dull ache returned. How long would those papers take? They couldn’t go on like this.
Katie waited for Josiah to return from a long day at work. But the moment he walked into the kitchen, guilt washed over her. He looked so haggard. If Colby were still around, Josiah would not be working at this backbreaking pace.
But she had a plan.
Her hands clenched and unclenched as she followed him across the kitchen. A lump stuck in her throat, and she couldn’t speak.
He grabbed his plate of food that warmed on the edge of the wood stove and turned to her. “What is it? I can see by the look on your face you have something to say.”
She blurted, “Do you know where Colby is?” The question sounded wrong the moment it slipped from her lips.
His jaw clenched and twitched beneath his skin. His brow knit together. “I do not.” He slammed the tin plate of food on the table, and his voice turned edgy. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I can’t help you in your quest to join him.” He dropped his large frame in the chair.
She massaged her temples a moment with her eyes closed. “I wasn’t hoping to join him. I…just thought that if you were in contact with him, you could ask him to return. I’m the one who should leave. The two of you need to live your dream. I’m the part that doesn’t fit here.”
Nausea washed over her. She clutched at her stomach and pressed it down. This was an important conversation. Why did she have to feel sick again? But the sensation wouldn’t go away. Instead, a surge of bile rose up her throat. She raced for the door and flung herself out, retching into the bushes at the side of the house.
He was right behind her. “Are you all right? Come, I’ll help you.” He gathered her close and almost carried her back indoors. “Sit, or do you want to lie down? I can carry you to your room.”
