Page 444 of Conveniently Wed
“Oh, God, if you’re up there, help me.” Her words echoed through the pines.
Josiah had watched Katherine leave the yard mounted on her mare, and he’d watched Colby follow. Her desperate expression and Josiah’s need to confirm his suspicions pressed him to shadow them. He didn’t want to feel anything for her, but his sorry heart still picked up rhythm every time she came into view. He had spent a year fighting his love, to no avail.
He kept well back in the tree line and spied from a distance. They talked. It looked like Colby wiped tears from her face. And then she lit out in the opposite direction while Colby headed back. This had proved nothing.
She raced across the meadow and flew over the fence so fast, his heart jumped to his throat. Was she trying to kill herself?
He followed at a good clip and didn’t breathe again until she slid from her horse. He moved as close as he dared, hidden in the stand of trees downwind from her. He didn’t want the horses to pick up scent and nicker to each other.
Guilt surged at the way he was invading her privacy, but a force stronger than his will drew him forward. She was in a heap on the cold ground, weeping. Everything within him fought the urge to run to her side and comfort her. He longed to turn those tears into laughter and kiss away the pain as a husband should.
Instead, the memory that had held him hostage for a year assaulted his mind. Her description of their arrangement to Colby, after all he had done to reach her, had cut him down. Until that moment, he’d been so sure he could win her love. What an arrogant fool that man had been.
Today, however, witnessing her sadness and vulnerability, that memory lost its power. The mad obsession of not having her, yet not being able to let her go, had to stop. As he viewedher crumpled in a heap on the ground, sadness welled up. Thick. Heavy. Oppressive. She didn’t need his comfort. She needed her freedom. He would go ahead with his plan.
Wheeling his horse around, he left her, details spinning in his mind. He had gotten her into this mess, and he would get her out.
23
Where was God? Katie had called out so many times over the past few weeks, asking for strength to resist the temptation. But was that what she wanted anymore? If so, why was she waiting for Colby beneath the light of the moon? She shivered as both anticipation and guilt wrapped around her.
Colby’s laughter compared to Josiah’s grump, his stimulating conversation up against Josiah’s rude silence—there was no contest. Colby didn’t have to work hard to mesmerize her over dinner. The brush of his foot underneath the table stirred her blood. The lilt of his northern accent and his dancing golden eyes, the message he sent without the need for words, her abject loneliness… All of it made the impossible, possible.
She gazed up at the silver-washed glow of the moon, with only the crickets for company, and trembled at the thought of having him all to herself. The waiting made her jittery.
Like a shadow, he silently stepped into view, and they walked far beyond the view of the house. The stillness with nary a breeze, the dancing shadows, then the blackness of the night as the moon slid behind a dark cloud, heightened her awareness.
There in the black, he slipped his hand over hers for the first time. Her breath caught in her throat as a tremor of excitement and the foreboding knowledge of sin crept through her. The still, small voice of reason faded as she rationalized what she was doing.
He slowly ran his thumb up the inside of her wrist. She quivered under his touch. She could no longer think straight. Her foot caught on a stone and she stumbled forward. He grabbed hold of her and drew her up against him, his arms tightening around her like twin bands of steel. The rapid pace of his heart pumped hard beneath her hand on his chest.
A mere inch separated their lips. Her breath mingled with his, and the heat in his rapid breathing fanned her face. She closed her eyes and pressed up against him.
He groaned.
She breathed in the mix of aromas clinging to his skin, the clean smell of soap, traces of his horse, and his own manly scent. Pressed as close together as clothing would permit, Colby’s pounding heart pressed into her, matching the racing of her own.
“Katie, what you do to me.” His words came through hard breaths as he bent his head toward her lips.
Oh, how she wanted to give into the temptation. Her senses were singing. Her feelings for Colby overwhelming. But then, thoughts of Josiah crowded in.
She had to stop. Now. Or she’d never be able to.
“No.” She wrenched back. “I can’t do this to Josiah.”
A swear word slipped from Colby’s lips as they pulled apart. A canyon of pain filled his eyes. “I know you’re right, but?—”
“We need to stay clear of each other. This madness has to stop.” She clutched her skirt in her hands.
Josiah threw the covers off his blazing body and stood from his bed. Thoughts of Katie had his mind tied in knots and his body responding in ways he would rather not. He wandered to the window and gazed through a narrow slit in the curtain. A movement flashed below.
His Katherine walked through the garden alone. She stopped and raised her face to the light of the moon. The silvery wash of her silhouette in the frosty glow took his breath away. There she stood. Lonely. Lost. Let down.
And he had created this life for her.
Could he start fresh? Should he make one more attempt to woo her before giving up? The way they were living was damaging them both.
Just when he decided to act on impulse and join her, Colby emerged from the shadows. She turned to him with her face in the light of the full moon. Her smile widened. Was that desire?
