Page 416 of Conveniently Wed
Ma’s voice turned gentle. “How about I take Jacob and Nathan inside to play with the girls. You two talk.” Aunt May nodded, and Ma herded the boys into the house.
Aunt May wrapped her arm around Katie’s shoulder and gave a squeeze.
Katie worked for a smile, but couldn’t find much of one. “You don’t have to, Auntie. I’ll be all right.”
“Come, my dear. I have uninterrupted time, which is a gift to me. Your Uncle John has gone in search of the men, and your ma has taken the boys. Even if you don’t think you can share, I shall get a walk with one of my favorite people in the world.” With a kind smile, she turned Katie and ushered her down the steps toward the orchard.
Katie inhaled a strengthening breath as a soft breeze pressed her dress against her knees and rustled the leaves. A few drifted lazily to the ground. They walked between the fruit trees in silence but for the crunch beneath their shoes. The slightly pungent smell of apples on the ground filled the crisp air. All around them, the colors of fall were splendidly arrayed, but she couldn’t appreciate the beauty.
Thoughts scrambled in her head. For years, she had craved a close relationship with her ma, yet it never happened. All this time she’d thought Ma was at fault, but maybe the problem was her. She couldn’t love like she should, first her ma and now her husband.
“Can you tell me about your tears?”
Katie stopped and faced her aunt. “It’s all so personal, so embarrassing.” The words got caught in her throat.
Aunt May placed a tender hand on Katie’s cheek. “It helps to talk.”
Those were the very words out of Josiah’s mouth. Had it helped? The pressure of expectation she’d put on herselfhadeased because of his kindness.
“I…feel terrible. I misjudged Josiah. First, I took my anger out on him, thinking he married me just for what I looked like. But, he’s worked hard at getting to know me, being a friend. And then with Ma, Pa, and the girls so happy… I feel so guilty.”
“Why?”
Heat raced to her cheeks and she dropped her gaze. But she pushed the words past the lump in her throat. “I haven’t fulfilled my wifely duty. I’m so scared. I don’t know how to approach him.” She stopped and buried her face in her hands. “Ma said he would know what to do, but I think my reaction when he first tried to hold me has… I don’t know. It’s like he’s waiting for my invitation, and I’m a coward.” She blinked back a rush of tears.
Aunt May’s arm closed around her, and they swayed back and forth. “There. It’s going to be all right. I promise.” Aunt May took a lace-trimmed handkerchief from her pocket and gently wiped the streaming tears. “My sweet one, marriage is not supposed to be so complicated. The way of a man with a woman is a beautiful thing God created for our enjoyment, as well as procreation. Usually, by the time a couple gets married, they can’t wait to come together, but I can understand why you’d be frightened when you hardly know the man.”
Katie couldn’t bear to tell how much more complicated it was than that.
“But I want you to consider one thing,” Aunt May said. “I’ve watched Josiah closely. The way he looks at you is the look of a man in love. Do you think you could try and open your heartto him? Then, the physical part of the relationship will naturally follow.” She smoothed a hand down Katie’s arm and gave a squeeze. “I’ve been thinking about my part in encouraging this marriage because I wanted more room for my growing family. I had selfish motives, and I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
Katie looked into the empathetic eyes of her aunt, and her nod came easily.
“There’s a story in the Bible of a lady named Ruth, a sad story of loss, and yet a wonderful account of God’s provision. Ruth opened her heart to the possibility of love in the strangest of places with an older man. A beautiful love story unfolds because of Ruth’s obedience and courage. Do you have a Bible in that large, grand home of yours?”
She nodded. “Delilah reads one.”
“Then promise me you will read the book of Ruth. Look for the similarities to your story and how God helped Ruth and will help you, even in the most difficult of situations.”
Katie grabbed Aunt May’s arm, pulling them to a stop. “I’ve tried to pray, Aunt May, and I still lack courage.”
“Ah, yes, my sweet girl. Sometimes it takes stepping out. The strength is given in that moment of action. You have a patient man who is waiting for you to initiate. He has a level of respect for you that’s impressive. It’s no small thing for a man in love to wait for the physical connection.”
Aunt May pulled her close. “I love you as if you were my own daughter. I know it was hard for you to talk about this. I’ll keep it between you, me, and the good Lord.” The hug grew tighter, and Katie held on, soaking in the warmth in her aunt’s arms.
“I miss you girl. I had to twist John’s arm to get him to bring me out here in my condition, but I’m sure glad I did.” Her aunt placed her hands on the sizable mound. “Goodness me. This one’s going to be a handful. I can tell by all the kicking.”
Aunt May reached for Katie’s hand and placed it on her swollen abdomen, then held it there.
The movement against her palm sent a surge of joy through her. “I think she’s dancing.”
“I hope it’s a she. I love my two boys, but it would be so wonderful to have a baby girl. Just you wait. When it’s your turn, you’ll be in awe.”
Katie gave her aunt a look. “First, I have to do whatever makes babies.”
Aunt May laughed out loud. “You’re right about that, Katie girl. Trust me. It’s so amazing.”
Katie snuck into the kitchen late that night. Her candle flickered, casting shadows against the wall as she scanned the area for the big black book. Ah, there it was, sitting on the edge of the table like it was waiting for her. She set her candle stand down and slid into the wooden chair worn smooth by years of use.
